Three Christmases, Two Days, and One Hell of a Cold!

Christmas Eve

First thing first, that was one hell of a never ending cold! Oh-my-gawd....AWFUL! My chest is still clenched from all the couching! It all started with a bad cough and just escalated. I was convinced for a day that I had whooping cough and was going to die. On Christmas Eve we went to my mother's for a late dinner and gift exchange. My cough was so bad that I couldn't speak without coughing. I made fantastic company! Did I mention that the children hadn't had a nap ALL DAY and that after our late dinner my parents decided to clean up and do the dishes while my children wailed! What a GREAT way to start the holiday!

I'm missing my bath and bed routine for this crap?! I'm exhausted!

These dollar store noise makers that Auntie Devil got us rock! These were promptly chucked when we got home. Something about the cheap china plastic, the many warning labels, and the cap that came off to release tiny metal balls was a bit unsettling to me.

SCORE! Gramma (what my mother insists on being called-WTF? I always think of gamma radiation...) got us Alphie! I'm not sure how to use it but it has lights! Gramma loves to buy EVERYTHING I had as a child for the girls. They also have the tupperware shape sorter.

Gramma likes to complain that she is poor but for a poor lady she sure spent a shit ton of money on Christmas presents. Our car was over flowing with gifts. The girls had gifts stuffed between their car seats. Gramma went over board. But I scored a humidifier and new door mats! We did lose the family holiday drama this year, we all just politely shook our heads at the Devil's new "husband". Seriously, who moves to another state after one date, and marries after three months? I confess that I just slapped his name on her card and shoved an extra $20 in! It was the first time I had ever met him! Accepting gifts from them as a couple with the prior knowledge that my parents purchased them was even more awkward. Boy-oh-boy I can't wait to see what excitement next year holds!!

Christmas Morning

I stayed up waaaaay too late on Christmas Eve baking and making desserts. Bread, brownies, pumpkin rolls and chocolate silk pie-all from scratch! I ROCK! We also stayed up to finish some wrapping and make everything picture perfect. Oh and I had to finish christmas dresses!!

Picture Perfect! I only wrapped three of their gifts-saves time and mess!

Sippies and breakfast are usually first... Emma wasn't too thrilled with the change in schedule.

All of the girls gifts, neatly displayed. Please note, our gifts are small in number and simple.

DH's Christmas surprise! He got up extra early on Christmas morning to set up a small train garden for us! The girls were thrilled when he lit up the houses and ran the train! I think I was most surprised that the dogs didn't disturb the set up and that he managed to wake up so early to get it done!

We then got everyone bathed, dressed, and out the door for brunch at SIL's house 1.5 hours away. In their pretty dresses we arrived and waited for the rest of the fam. It was really nice to sit and enjoy the company without the rush, rush, rush of food, presents, and on to the next house. I can say that I am still exhausted from the traveling. DH and I seriously discussed skipping the holidays next year, especially since I fear we won't be able to rely on car naps.

Emma being spoiled by her grandparents! MIL & FIL went way over board but I know they enjoy doing it! By this point the girls now knew that paper was for ripping and couldn't get enough.

Tons of toys and my children choose hand sanitizer and bags to play with! Do you see those huge gift bags in the background? We had 3 full of gifts!

We've learned where our tongues are.

Here's a shot of the dresses. I need to sit them in front of the tree for a shot in their dresses. I forgot to get one on Christmas.

We then went on to my cousins' house for dinner with my family. We were an hour late but it really didn't matter. There was still tons of food out and people were still eating. I had my turducken! So excited! We named him Finnigan and although he was a little dry, he was good. I didn't get any pictures. By this point in the day the girls were toast and super clingy. DH got a pasta pot which he is having a affair with and I got a gc to BBB. The girls got some new diapers that I was thrilled with and sing-a-ma-jigs. Seriously, what ass thought these up? My Aunt Pat, Master Chief Canner, bought all the kids gifts and my girls scored sock monkeys and a table and chair set! They are in love with these chairs! Emma carries them all over the basement.

After Christmas

We got the genius idea to go to H.ershey Pa.rk for Candycane.Lane. This would have been better if the girls were another year older OR it was a little earlier in the evening and not so cold. It was 6 o'clock and the girls were starting to wind down from the day, it was in the mid to low 30', and the girls were not enjoying our outing. At first the lights held their interest but after the first ride they didn't want to get back into the stroller. It was nothing but tears after that. I was that parent with the screamers! GO ME!

Me: Lets take a quick family picture.

DH: *Sigh* Sure.

Me: Everyone smile.

*Click*

Me: *turns camera over* Hey I cut out the girls and we look horrible! It's a keeper!

As we were leaving we gave them a piece of cookie and magically all was well in the world. Not a tear from them for the rest of the evening. Lesson-start with the cookie!

So while I've been recovering DH has been on Daddy Duty. The girls have enjoyed having him home this week and I'm sure we will all miss him when he goes back. We were very fortunate this year as I hope many of you were. I'm sure we will be slowly pulling out our new toys in the coming weeks, as for now we're having loads of fun with all these empty boxes!

So Sick

So, so, SO SICK!

I promise to post soon about Christmas and our bags-o-toys that have runneth over!

Window Dancer

My daughter has a future in the red light district. Great.

This climbing business is getting dangerous-and giving the neighbors something to talk about.

Emma's Hat

Hi!
I'm Emma and this is my eye! Mom get's a little crafty sometimes and we have to oblige her with cute pictures of her work. I'm a fan of her work, I wore this hat all morning. I tried to share it with the dog but he wasn't interested.
Mom's working on one for Claire too but I heard her say it was a lost cause becuase she never keeps things on her head. I think my hat needs tassles up top, maybe if Mom takes a breather for all this Christmas stuff she'll see that I'm not looking as cute as I possibly can!

Don't Drink The Kool.Aid

DH: I gave the girls Bug Juice today. (Bug Juice being the super sweet Kool.Aid he makes)

Me: What [Steam blowing from ears]

DH: I wanted to expand their palettes. Don't worry I watered it down.

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!

Ok, maybe I am a sugar-nazi. 17 month olds do no need their palettes expanded by artificially flavored cherry sugar water. Can I say with 100% certainty that Emma's 3 hours play date at 1:30 this morning was a result of that, no. I can say that I am 98.762 % sure of it! I really don't want to be that mom, the one who dictates what their kids can and can't have based on sugar content and ingredients and all that. I do however, want to make sure that while my kids have no control over what they eat that they eat the most nutritious and beneficial foods. No where on my list of approved foods and beverages is Bug Juice!

While I'm bitching, because I'm not happy unless I'm bitching, lets discuss DH's eating habits. In the DH food pyramid grains are king followed by cheeses, then processed snacks both salty and sweet, and caffeinated, carbonated, sugar laced beverages! Notice what is absent? Fruits and veggies of any kind. No tomato sauce on his pasta, not even catsup for his fries! No L,T,O on his burgers! He does not eat any type of fruit or vegetable at all, ever. He will eat raisins and he loves a good glass of wine, but won't touch a grape! He will eat cereal bars with strawberries but won't touch a fresh one. No salads, no veggies with dinner, he won't even eat stuff that has been cooked with veggies!

Why am I complaining about all of this? I am afraid the girls will pick up these habits, that later on I will get the "Daddy doesn't eat why do I have to"-line. I also worry because his go-to meal for the girls is mac and cheese. I'm ok with mac and cheese, I'd rather it be homemade then out of a box but I'm too lazy to make that accommodation, I'll just use frozen veggies cubes! I want them to have more variety in their diet and I've noticed they've already seemed to develop a limited taste palette. They still won't eat most meats, they are even picky about how their chicken is prepared. Claire more so then Emma, that child won't eat anything!

I've started giving them a veggie first, then the rest of their meal. Is it ok to get tough with them now? I don't want to starve them!

How does meal time play out at your house? Do you and your partner agree on what and how to feed the little ones?

I don't want DH to think that I believe he is unfit to care for children, I just want to have a plan we can both stick to that doesn't make me that mom!

Do I Need To Say More?

Do I need to say anything at all??

Breakfast With Santa 2010

I will admit that I was all against Santa, but how can I avoid it? As long as they don't grow up to be horrible, demanding, materialistic, ungrateful children I'll be happy. Besides, I'm in stitches every time I look at it-totally worth it!

My father is a Mason. Yes one of those masons with the secrets, the hand shakes, the funny necklaces and aprons, and those damn white gloves. He is determined to be his father, as if living in his house and sleeping in his bed wasn't enough! Anywho... he asked, reminded, and re-reminded me about this breakfast and it was free so how could I say no?! We went and I think aside from seeing the children and having some family time, he was most happy that we were there to support him and his lodge. Mother could care less about his masonic adventure and only tally's the expense it brings. I will be the first to admit that it is the grown-up version of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club, but it brings him joy and they have some nice basket bingos!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful (and hopefully warm) weekend!

Christmas Ornaments

Every year we haul in a tree, but not any tree-the perfect tree. We always have real trees. I always feel a guilt because Mr. Tree is killed just to look pretty in my living room. I could totally rock the potted house tree for Christmas but I'm sure the dogs would find other uses for it. Growing up FIL always found THE-BIGGEST-TREE, because bigger is better. But I don't just mean taller than the rest, I mean too big for the house. Too big to stand in the in the tree stand, held up by guide wires from the ceiling and kept up for weeks-still green and "alive"! FIL can keep a christmas tree alive for weeks on end. As a result, I live with a tree nazi! We used to drive from lot to lot, stopping at tree farms and nurseries to check prices and find the best tree for the right price. We ALWAYS blew our budget. Then we had kids. Now we hit the depot and call it a day.

Oh but the rule, the rules live on. The tree nazi has a way with the trees. The tree comes home, the tree rests-outside, the tree drinks. The tree comes in, the rests, the tree is cut free and allowed to rest some more. The tree keeps drinking. The tree drinks gallons of water, gets special cocktails, and I'm sure he reads it a bed time story and sings it a lullaby each night. We have the tree for days before we are able to decorate it. Thankfully we were able to get it done before Christmas! Our tree will also stay up until epiphany, when I will pack away the ornaments and spend the better part of a month cleaning up stray needles. How long does your tree stay up?

As for ornaments, we have a modest collection but purchase one every year. This year we'll be starting the girl's collection. Their first christmas we did a family ornament but I want them to have a collection when they leave this nest. I loved that families had tons of ornaments. My family has had the same collection, never upgrading or regularly adding ornaments. My parent's tree is filled with elementary school art projects and frosted glass balls from the 70's. My mother actually commented that she believes they're antiques now. I just call them ugly. There used to be boxes and boxes for these ugly glass ornaments, but with two kids and many dogs, most have broken. Thankfully there are still all those boxes of art projects... I actually remember making many of them, and I should be glad they were kept. My mother isn't a sentimental person, but she is cheap and what is better than free ornaments?! I also LOATHE that she covers her tree in tinsel! Cheap, shimmering, silver colored tinsel that is FULL of static and this year only covers the top 3/4 of the tree so the cats do not ingest, the dog knock off, or the girls pull off. Tinsel, gross.

I didn't have a favorite ornament growing up, although I LOVED the town set up my grandparents always had under their tree. It was far better than a doll house! Before I was born, there was an entire room that was made into a train garden in my great grandfather's house. I can't wait to put up a train garden for the girls! I also regret that I didn't have any of my own childhood ornaments to introduce to our collection. So we're working on building our own Christmas tree history here...

Can these two cuties be my favorite ornament?? They love the lights!

These next two ornaments represent our struggle as a couple. Meet Tom. Tom is our dear-god-please-let-this-IVF-work-we-don't-have-any-other-options ornament. Sea turtles are a fertility symbol, and cute, and apparently work really well!

We also have a pair of orange slices, from our poor Orange Christmas. Everyone has had an Orange Christmas at some point in their life, right? Some have had a few. We endured our Orange Christmas with Tom, because we chose to put all our eggs [I'm always the comedienne] in one basket and blow some $$$ on IVF. Still working on paying that off... but totally worth it in the end.

Last year we found our first family ornament and I was *THRILLED* to hang it on our tree. All the debt from last Christmas wasn't forgotten, but the holidays are about family and last year we finally had one of our own.

And so this year we continued the tradition. We commemorated the girls first summer as beach bums! If they ever hate the beach I'll have to disown them. This also replaces our last beach ornament that was conveniently smashed thanks to a certain dog...

I think this ornament means the most to me, although it technically isn't my favorite. This was a gift from DH last year, the year we finally had our first family christmas. I think looking at life as a whole, family is the best gift you can give and it is one that last forever. What can I say, I was a little emotional last year-shoot me!

In closing, see our monster tree. You can't really tell, but the tree is over 4 feet wide. Did I mention I have living room the size of a postage stamp??

I love our tree topper. It's not traditional, yet still a star. It's a moravian star and fits us quite nicely-even if it is DH's bachelor star. I think it needs a coat of paint and love that it's metal and will last forever!

What is on top of your tree?

and...

How far down do your ornaments go?

With the girls, the dogs, the cat and whatever else may be inhabiting my home we stop about a foot before the end of the tree. All the 'important' ornaments are near the top, and lose important the further down the tree you do. I'm not risking my ornaments with this bunch!

P.S.

I'm thrilled I finished my tree skirt. I really think I would have liked it more if I had made it in all cream, but I had red on hand and I didn't want it swallowed up in all the bland-ness that is my living room. Do you like it?? I'm quite proud of myself for finishing it on time but it could use some more flowers along the edge, to add a little more depth and not look so planned.

Two Walkers!

I believe it is safe to call Miss Claire a true walker now! I am excited, but a little heart broken again. What happened to my babies?! She's not nearly as stable as Emma be she is on her way. She is so adorable, it looks like she just hopped off a horse. She is only walking roughly 40% of the time, the rest of the time she still walks on her knees. Can you believe she now has callouses on her knees from all her knee walking. I want to rub them with a stone but that seems like too much effort. She'll outgrow them right? She has been able to walk but just wasn't comfortable enough I guess. Although those callouses seem sooo unworth it! Just get up and walk! But today was her day, just just picked up and started walking. Just like Emma did and just 4 days before her 17th month.

What am I going to do with two walkers? When can I ditch my stroller? Can I survive without a stroller?! Maybe I'll try the grocery store tomorrow with her walking, there was no way I was going out in the bitter cold and snow with all the crazies! It's only snow folk, relax. You're not going to be snowed in for months!

Smooth Move & Parenting

Thursday is getting thirstier!

Wednesday was almost horrible. This one car, eco-friendly family stuff is stretching me thin. I think I should stop working all together, it's too much hassle for too little reward. [No DH I'm not quitting, stop your happy dance.] Yesterday mother came over *CUE SCREAM* and picked the girls and I up. When I say came over, I mean she came over to, and into my house. I quickly lugged our 400 pound car seats out to her car along with all the stuff for the girls. Ever trip I made she asked me something about the house. STOP CRITIQUING MY HOUSE!

• Yes that sideboard has always been there, I made it! Sure you can inspect it, and yes I know the inside is a mess and disorganized!
• Yes that is a smaller fish tank, we only have one mega fish left.
• Yes we have always had that chair. I leave the covers off so they aren't cover in dog hair.
• Yes I would love to buy another couch, but ultimately it's not a priority. We use the family room and just pass through the living room.
• Yes I do need to touch up the paint, but I'd rather repaint entirely after I replace the baseboards this spring.
• Yes my floors do need to be refinished, would you like to pay for that? I also need new windows!

Can you believe I cleaned for her, and even lit a scented candle so the house didn't smell all floor-cleaner-esk! She questions in such a condescending way. I hurried to move us along. It just dawned on me that I critique her house in the same fashion, only not to her face. I wouldn't tell her that this new tv, although it does fit lovely in the corner cabinet, is a terrible downgrade from the old tv and has horrible sound. I'm fairly sure it will break sooner than later and the cables running out of the corner are unsightly. New furniture would have been the better investment, but either way you shouldn't have spent them money! I'm glad she took the time to clean the carpet though, the girls have a nice big area to play in.

As I waited till it was time for me to leave for work we talked. We complained about the economy, money, life. She complained about taxes and I joined in. I forgot for a brief moment that I was talking to my mother. I complained I made too much money. She scoffed. I found out that we make almost 30k more than my parents. She wanted to know where all of my money went-HA! Like I'd spill the beans! You certainly don't see me buying new televisions or constantly renovating my house!! On the downside, I think my christmas presents just got a whole lot smaller!

Do you discuss things of this nature with your parents?

I feel like I am the only one. As I've matured into adulthood my mother has become even less of 'my mother' and more of the neighbor down the street who I can sit and gossip with. I don't get parenting advice, we're not the warm, cuddly type. Sometimes I miss that, most times I'm thankful we're not. It's fun to pick out her flaws as a wife and mother, and discuss them with her. Maybe I'm just evil. It's just weird for me to hear how other families work and know that mine is nothing similar. It really makes me wonder how I might have turned out if my grandparents had lived longer, if I have been separated from my parents longer.

Who raised you?

I can honestly say that my parents did not raise me. They were around, but I was raised by my grandparents. I think I turned out wonderfully. The devil was raised by my parents and she leaves a lot to be desired in my opinion. DH comes from a similar background spending a good deal of time with his grandmothers. It really makes me focus on my children and want to be actively involved ALL-THE-TIME. I want my children to remember me in their youth, not someone else. Manners, respectful behavior, and emphasis on learning are things I want to bring my children up with; things my grandparents instilled in me and things my sister lacks.

In thirty years I want to sit with my girls and remember things we did on a rainy day, trips we took, dinners we made. Its sad that I don't have that with my own mother, and I can't really discuss with her the great time I had with my grandparents because she wasn't around. I think it was a case of having to work to support the family and some selfishness. Above all, I want my children to know that I gave them my all. That I met my standards of a good parent, and hope that they also feel that I was good enough to have been their parent. My mother is often surprised at my craftiness and ingenuity, but I want to know what my children are capable of.

Do you feel your parents gave you their all? And is it wrong to look back and use your parents as a platform of what you don't want to be?

To-Do List Update & Family Pictures

Cleaning the bathroom

Finish tree skirt

Find buttons

Christmas dresses

Christmas tree - Friday night

Wrapping

More shopping & gift cards

Make christmas cards

Pictures for christmas cards

Help plan christmas dinner

Wash carseats & stroller seats

Laundry

Gorgeous! I'm so excited!!

I feel semi-accomplished. The tree skirt would have been finished but I ran out of fabric to make flowers. So when I go back out for more felt, I'll get buttons and life will be wonderful! I'm quite pleased with my progress. I was able to get all the laundry done and clean the bathroom, which in this house is no small task. Unfortunately laundry is already piling up again and the bathroom mirror has been re-splattered with toothpaste. I didn't exactly help plan, but I was more than willing. I was assigned dessert-yummy- and DH has to make a side. Mother is also to bring a side, $10 says it green-bean-no-one-likes-it-make-something-else-for-once-in-your-life-mother-casserole!

I opted against purchasing a pattern outright, and instead am free forming my own for the girl's christmas dresses. They will only wear them once, so what do I care right? I hope to start cutting them out tonight. I've decided to let the girls play with lights for our holiday card picture, now all I need is to finish the tree skirt and have a tree *in the house* to take a picture in front of. Since my christmas card list is rather small, I'm thinking of truly hand making the cards as I did for my wedding and birth announcements. Maybe I can get those done Thursday? Nice dream...

I've been thinking on how we don't have any family pictures. It kinda bothers me, there are just snap shots of us as a family. It made me remember back to my own childhood. I LOATHED pictures. Still do. I was half tempted to schedule pictures to use for our christmas card-two birds with one stone. But then it hit me...

Little gems like these would be in existence in 25 years!

And what if I let everyone pick what they wanted to wear and we didn't match?

See the GIANT bug bite on my father's forehead? Way to not blink Mom! Can you guess why I have a horrible grin? I broke my front tooth out and wore a bright, shiny silver cap all summer! Lovely timing for pictures!!

So to be safe, and ensure that my children won't post my fashion forward sense for the world to see in 30 years, I think we'll hold off on studio pictures. I'm more of an outdoorsy, free form kinda girl anyhow...

...and always have been! This is just my generic, cute baby photo. No 1980's hair or dress here!

Tree Skirt Flowers

One more thing off my to-do list! And I could't resist snapping a picture, they looked so pretty in the basket. Hopefully they will look just as nice on my tree skirt.

Now about that tree...

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Vent Time

Nap time is vent time today.

I'd like to vent on behalf of all mothers who spend most of their time locked away at home with the kiddies during the holiday season who are responsible for making the holiday season merry and bright.

What a CROCK! Am I one of Santa's magically little elves? How am I suppose to get ALL of this done? Gifts, wrapping, shopping for everyone-and their brother, sister, cousin, and great aunt! I have to make a tree skirt, make christmas dresses, make cookies, make cheer and mirth! But I'm a trooper. I can shop online, I can make the most of the time I have out. I can sew during nap time and cut fabric while the screamies do their thing. I can still wrap gifts in front of the girls because they don't know any better! I am a mom, and I rock! I did hang lights and garland outside and I don't even care that it looks like a 3 year old did it!

Husband, you don't rock! How do you like that for spreading the holiday feeling!! I switched my work schedule to give you *child-free* shopping time. That is GOLD! You complain about shopping in the afternoon, and rearrange your shopping trip. I come home from work to find sleeping babies but I was deceived! The house was a mess, the sippies were missing, and dear god can you not wipe down trays after a meal?! Emma was cutting teeth and starving. Little did I know Aunt Flo was stopping by to let me know I most certainly wasn't pregnant, so I can blame 47% of my bitchiness of her but still. If I go to the trouble to rearrange my schedule, to inconvenience myself for you benefit-BE GRATEFUL!

That being said, I understand that December is the month that will one day break our marriage as I will stab you in the eye with a spoon for your foul, work-induced mood. Overall I still love you very much and do plan to forgive you - in January. It will make it look like I made a resolution! I'm sorry you work with in-ept teachers. I'm sorry the students don't produce sounds that rival the greatest symphonies of the world. I'm sorry the computer doesn't like your program and the weather changes reek havoc on your instruments. I'm also sorry that you cannot embrace the craziness of the season and laugh it all off. Some of us have just as much on our plates, if not more.

Vent Complete.

Still with me??

I'm actually excited for this week! I hope you are too. My goals include cleaning the bathroom (half done!), finishing my tree skirt, finding buttons for my tree skirt, starting the girl's christmas dresses, finding a christmas tree, wrapping presents, finding a few more gifts online, ordering gift cards, making christmas cards, helping plan christmas dinner, wash car seat and stroller covers, and maintaining my sanity! All in addition to the regular laundry runs, cleaning the house, and keeping the dogs off my bed. If one more person asks what my children want for christmas I may scream. They want nothing, the need nothing. Go buy a pair of goats for a family in need in their name, send me cash, give them a savings bond. DO NOT BUY THEM MORE TOYS! I am also suppose to be providing my mother with a list of gift my husband and I desire but I feel guilty asking them for anything for us. She just shelled out money on her car and bought herself a new TV. Although if she is buying a TV she should definitely have some dinero to treat her new favorite daughter-LOL! I should really be working...

If the wind wakes the girls from sleep one more time I may scream. The wind is terrible today, and it is horribly cold. If you live in the Baltimore Metropolitan area you may have saw a bright flash of light today. That would have been me, barefoot without a jacktet and in my pjs, chasing recycling all over my back yard! I do apologize for what you just imagined but will not be help liable for any damages! Must start doing something productive...

Busy Elf

Guess what I've been up too...

What have you been up to this week? The holidays are coming and I am so underprepared!

Dear Rain

Shouldn't I be welcomed with snow on the first day of December? Instead I get crazy wind and rain. Did I mention I never got around to caulking the rest of the outside windows...

Here's something that is floating around my head as I sit hoping my house doesn't float away, damn low lying land, do they make rai.n-X for house windows? I know all this rain is going to make my windows dirty on the outside, so I'll have to wash them when it's 30 degrees out and freeze.

After all the shenanigans from yesterday, I'm looking forward to a smooth and quiet day. Here that Emma?? I must have checked on her 5 times last night. Each time I was so thankful she was still alive, I'm such a drama queen sometimes. Last night we welcomed what I hope to be the start of something wonderful!!! I kicked the dogs out of bed! That's right, there were no dogs or children, just DH and I. I didn't notice of a difference, but the dogs don't pile on me. The girls woke up screaming this morning, the wind is howling here and rain is pouring and I would venture a guess that they were a bit frightened. Hell I was frightened. Luckily we only have one car that DH took to work so I don't have to worry about any trees falling today!

Today we also upgraded Claire's poop efforts with some m.iralax. Seriously kid, just poop. We don't need a show, just poop. Your sister does it all the time, in an oh-my-goodnes-what-the-hell-happened-in-this-diaper kinda way. Aside from laundry and baby wrangling, I think I have an easy day ahead.

What does your Wednesday look like??

Mother-Of-The-Year

Autographs after a show ladies, and you can all stop putting your bids in because I'm definitely Mother-Of-The-Year!!! No one could possibly top this amazing display of stupidity!

My dear sweet Emma is becoming a bit of a daredevil. Don't let the baby blues and powdery blonde hair fool you, she's fearless! She is always go-go-go!

Monday she went-went-went overboard off a shopping cart. Yeah, I'm a rock star mom, I can totally shop without the stroller. Horrible idea! What could possibly make it worse? We were in Old N.avy. Ever been there? Ever walked on their nice POURED CONCRETE FLOORS? That act alone gets me 47,682 points!

This morning, the dog snaps at her. Awesome Mom, too buys with laundry to look after her kids properly. 8,967 points.

This afternoon, I send Emma down the stairs. Emma is the climber and has no problem with stairs. I start her down and turn around to grab Claire. Thud-thud-thud. As I turn around to see Emma bouncing down the stair, literally bouncing and rolling as if time was standing still. Like any Super-Mom I naturally drop the kid I'm currently holding and rush after the falling child while screaming her name. Because SCREAMING will freeze time and she'll stop bouncing, I can grab her in mid air, and everything will be fine. Oh no. My ass bounces down the stairs too and I watch her head smack off the side of a bookcase. Grrrreat! Once I make it down I grab her up. She cries I carry her around still screaming her name, because that is obviously thats the calm and collected thing to do. Aha moment-there's another kid chillin' at the top of the stairs. Thanks for not being a daredevil Claire! Two minutes later Emma is pushing the step stool around the kitchen and climbing up to steal graham crackers. Really kid?! At least you can't really tell the dog bit her now! This incident- 4,938,764.7 points.

No one can touch me!

Seriously, I felt horrible. Horrible can't even describe. I am still shaken up. So much so that I have strapped the kids down in chairs with crayons and am letting them throw goldfish at the dogs while I blog. I even said fuck the laundry! I'm sure I'll be saying a lot more when I get out of bed, those steps are hard! Next time I'll invest in the super padding!

P.S.

I know this stuff happens all the time, but goodness is it terrifying! I love how right after I make sure she's not horribly injured, I ask the internet-not the doctor-if my kid is ok! I regularly use the internet in all aspects of child rearing, how about you?!

When Good Dogs Attack

This is Orion, disregard the girl's redecorating in the background. He is a good dog. He loves the girls. They crawls over him, sit on him, pull, push and pinch him. They pull on his ears, poke his eyes, and dig their grimy hands into his mouth. He loves to give kisses and cuddle. He is my first baby.

I have always said that if he ever brought harm to the children, off he would go. That's a lie, I think it went something more along the lines of "I'll rip your heart out and eat it you furry bastard while wearing your hide as a coat." We had an understanding. I never really worried.

Today I backtracked. I'm a hypocrite. The dog stays. It's the kids who are bad. Orion snapped at Emma! He snapped and got her face! But she deserved it!!

How can I say that? Well I did warn her, remove her, distract her - I made it clear. She decided to try to detatch Orion's winkie. Orion is quite fond of his winkie, he shows it far more attention than I'd like.

So am I wrong? Does he stay or go?

One Car

This one car family business sucks the ween! Seriously, I'm not sure how all the yuppie tree-hugger (which I have been called on more than one occasion) live like this! I don't live in the city anymore, although if I did I probably wouldn't be bitching! This suburban MoM is dying without her coche!

So how do you accomplish christmas shopping in a one car family? Well having a winkie means you can leave the kiddos with the wife (or partner because I don't discriminate like that) and head out... No penis? Suck it up Suzie and put on your big girl panties!

Tomorrow morning I will wake, ready the children, gather their crap-boy do they have A LOT- and we will take a family trip to drop daddy off at work. We will stop by Auntie's for breakfast and then head out for some S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G!!!! Hit two stores, then RED (tarjey) and/or BLUE (hellmart), before we land at the fabric store. Because as if the holidays weren't crazy enough I like to make dress for the girls and let everyone tell me how talented I am. Seriously, my dresses look very 'homemade', as in momma likes a drinky before she starts sewing. I have fun, and the girls can't yet refuse to wear my creations so I'll soak it in while I can.

Then back to Auntie's for some lunch, and if I am a truly blessed woman-a nap! At which point I will have to go back out for whatever I forgot. I am hoping Sa.ms' auto department will take an appointment so I can have the car's battery changed, my wipers replaced, and do some bulk shopping while I wait. That would be awesome. Don't let me down Sammy! Then we fetch DH and head home.

Can I just say that I love online shopping? I've done the vast majority online so far. It's a wonderful mommy activity for nap time! But there are just some things I need to touch and feel. Maybe going out will give me a few last minute (although thankfully I'm not last minute shopping again!) gift ideas and remind me why I hate going out in public! Hopefully the girls will enjoy the outing and not fight me.

How is your holiday shopping going?

The Turkeys and My Turkey Day Gripes

Oh look, Dad's coming in the door...

I love the seriousness of this picture, it's like they are asking if I seriously dressed them in these hideous clothes!

Then we lost any sort of focus and discovered that Poppy's half-dead recliner rocked so pictures were done.

This would be all the entertainment from our holiday. I would love to say that we have a magnificent time, but to be painfully honest-Mother is not an entertainer and Father has a horribly short temper. Remember when you were 14 and you glared at your family through your teenage angst insisting to yourself that you absolutely HAD to be adopted, or even found under a rock somewhere. I still carry some of that. Or maybe I'm a bit delusional and I am just like them. I am thankful for them none the less.

It was small, quaint, quiet...and mother cooks to her liking. I guess everyone does to a degree so I shouldn't fault my dear mother but seriously, enough with the damn green bean casserole! I totally forgot that my parents use vel.veeta to make cheese sauce which made me want to vomit a bit in my mouth. It's like plastic once it reaches room temp. But the turkey, oh the turkey, the sweet-delicious-oh-my-goodness-did-my-father-really-make-you turkey! Hickory smokes goodness and super moist! I actually ate all my leftover. SOOO good. Don't have a smoker at your house, invest! You can thank me later!

In all honesty it was nice to be with family, but I really would like to host a family event. I think I would kick ass! Those biscuits would be from scratch, my cheese wouldn't be plastic, and there wouldn't be green bean casserole! There would be hor'dourves, penned up dogs, and a game or two. I would decorate a little, have a centerpiece and most of all, have a clean table cloth with places for everyone to sit. I'd even make an apron for the occasion because I'm that much of a rockstar!

I know I sound like an ungrateful brat but who has thanksgiving dinner with people spread throughout the house? There were 6 of us. My parents have a hugh house, and an unused "Florida Room" that would have easily held a table for us all. I also couldn't stop looking at things around their house. Things that needed some TLC, some cleaning, or some updating. Like the knotty pine paneling my grandfather put up when my father was just a little boy, who has paneling anymore!? Please tell me I'm not the only one who knit picks people's homes? I don't expect your home to jump out of a magazine but seriously, spruce it up a bit! The kids crawl around, dog hair on the floor is unacceptable. Don't make me cringe at the though of my children in your house, I do enough of that in my own-HA!

In closing, the dresses above were gifts from the DEVIL and were worn in her absence and photographed as proof that they were indeed used. I'll take these over the jeans that have "Daddy's Girl" in red rhinestones across the ass any day! They're not totally hideous, just not my style. Speaking of which, christmas dresses are coming!!! Fabric shopping this week, lets see what I can pull of this year.

Emma Walks!

It's official. We have a true walker! Miss Emma is our first walker! I'm so mixed. I'm excitied that someone is finally walking after 16 months and 3 days but I can't help but want to push her down! No need to grow up so fast girly! Luckily Claire is still content to walk on her knees for a while.

I am just surprised that happened. They've toddling around on their knees for a while with lots of cruising and some occasional steps. After lunch today I set her down out of her chair with her sippy and she just walked off like it was nothing new! Just presto! she walks! Every time she falls she picks herself right back up. I guess my babies are growing!

Soak it all in, it's a game you can't win, enjoy the ride!!!

Mommy Down Time

So the morning nap is transitioning to Mommy Down Time. This is a vital part of the day where Mommy eats, and doesn't nothing terribly taxing. Mommy Down Time would be a hell of a lot better of certain dogs weren't eyeing my sandwich.

There's been a slight change of plans and I won't be watching HAM for a while which leaves the girls and I at home. That place that we live, that is terribly dirty and disorganized. I spent yesterday dusting, de-cluttering, windexing, pledging, polishing, wall wiping, baseboard cleaning and spit shining(no not really, gross!) and only managed to finishing the living and dining room. The kitchen is in working order, as is the rest of the house. The downside to all of that work, is that we don't use the living room. It's a dog sanctuary. It's terribly embarrassing.

Today I picked up the family room which is still relatively clean thanks to everything being thrown out when it flooded! I'm working on laundry and being rather productive. I even called the insurance company! But the last two days I feel like I haven't spent much time with the girls. I have been so focused on bring the house back to life that they have just played by themselves. This also makes me happy because they can play by themselves. They have a wonderful time while I do other things, but I don't want them to feel neglected! Being home is an awful lot of work! I keep seeing all the nicks in the dining room walls from the chairs hitting the walls....I have to paint! But how do you paint with little ones around? I should really have a better hold on the SAHM thing by now.

The girls seems to fine with staying home, it's their house so why would they?! I've only heard them mention HAM once but I miss her! It sure is much easier to care for three little ones else where then to be stuck in my own house! Sorry this is so rambly, Mommy Down Time is almost over and my head is spinning with the thought of preparing lunch, sippies, play, diapers, laundry folding, floor cleaning, fish tank cleaning....

Pre-Turkey Day

What is it with nap time?? I was so productive....

Yesterday we had pre-Thanksgiving with DH's family. We all had a great time and got to meet the newest addition to the family! Addi is such a cutie pie and I love her Mama's southern accent. I'm really glad I got to actually meet Katie and her adorable little girl. I've always though she was the hugest bitch since I met her at her wedding. Guess that's not the best time to meet extended family! HA! Apparently she was smitten with me, so maybe I'll have a new friend! I feel like a 3rd grader! The girls were a bit clingy but the started to warm up. Claire was getting over a cold so she was clinging to me. I love them both dearly but 20lbs of hot baby makes for a hot mama! They even got to sit at the table and eat which was so nice! They didn't throw food all over the floor and managed to get something other than rolls in their little mouths so I was happy. Towards the end of dinner my niece started making faces at Emma and she started to squeal with laughter. It was the stuff memories are made from, too classic! Everyone loved it which made me love the moment even more. Even though I brought my camera, and pulled it out to use, I didn't take one picture. Ugh. I need to get better about that!

We had a wonderful meal and a good turn out. Even my fairly anti-social enjoyed family time. Sitting around chatting was good fun. Of course all of us are mothers and we were discussing babies, weights, labors and the like. I got the ribbon again of worst labor! Way to go me! I really wish we had more family events. I am trying to stay on top of this but with DH's family being so large and fragmented it's becomes difficult. The drive home was bitter sweet. DH helped his brothers build a fancy new ramp for his mama and he was reminiscing in everything that was and will never be again. He said it was nice to "hang out" with his brothers again and remember the good old days. I tried to encourage him to extend the invitation while reminding him that that was all he could do. It's hard when there is tension and disagreement, but hopefully the last few years have allowed that to settle. Weddings and funerals aren't the only time families should get together. Add in the layer of his family being roughly 40+ people, who are the most bull-headed people EVER, and any gathering is a major production.

How do you avoid family fracture?

DH is stuck on the idea of giving his children the same experiences he had growing up. Knowing his parents did far more for many more children on holidays with far less is really hindering his ability to go with small christmases. I'm slowly upping my christmas budget...sigh. I think I'll buy bigger ticket items so the quantity is still small! He understands that our tiny house doesn't need a million toys but can't over come the mental block that he is able to do more so he should. Men...*throws hands up*

I think while I sit here NOT cleaning my house I'll start some christmas shopping online. Then I need to figure out what to do with old pictures of other people's families! I feel bad tossing them...

Hope everyone has a great week! I hope to get some shopping done, some of this house cleaned up, and cut MIL's hair. Super nervous about her not liking it, but she is such a sweet heart and I know she'd never say anything.

Attack of the Mother

Aren't you suppose to 'hear it' from your mother-in-law? Isn't she suppose to be the devil in disguise?

I'll admit that my mother and I have a far from typical mother/daughter relationship. There isn't much of a bond. I believe if you were flipping through my mind like a phone book you would find her under close neighbor/co-worker, maybe friend but not best friend. We don't have that type of bond and I often relate that to her absence when I was younger and her fondness/preferring/protecting/what-ev's of my sister. Maybe I'm just jealous, maybe I'm bitter, maybe she was really not there as I remember. Anyhow....why is the devil MIL in my life?

For the record, I love my MIL. Seriously, it's true love. She is great! Granted she is 70 and more like my grandmother, but maybe that's why I hold her so dear. She is the sweetest, most caring, helpful, wonderful MIL ever! You want to talk, she listen! Need advise, she's been there! Naked? Take the shirt of her back! Why can't my own mother be like this?

My mother watches the girls for approximately 2.5 hours on Wednesday. Two and a half stinkin' hours! From this, any all other interaction she receives via drop-in visits, holidays, and FB chats, she feels she can offer me all the ass-vice in the world about my obviously lacking skills as a parent and provider.

As it turns out...

My children cannot walk because they don't have shoes.

I purchased shoes. Shoes she purposefully puts back on their feet as I am leaving. Who wears shoes in the house? I take them off, it's respecting someone's house! And their clean floors, which your's my dear, are not!

The shoes are too big.

They wear half sizes and I'm not paying $80 at Stride.Rite for baby shoes they will out grow in 3 months.

Their socks are too small, it will curl their toes.

Seriously? WTF?! Bone vs. fabric-take a science class.

Claire needs Ex.Lax.

Or how about we listen to the Dr. and try the mineral oil, then the mira.lax if necessary. You're last bit of ass-vice about Kar.o syrup did a bunch of nothing for her.

You need to use disposable diapers.

No, I think Emma has really sensitive skin, proof from her eczema. Disposables cause her sores on her bits and pieces, far worse than diaper rash.

And the list goes on...

So how do you handle all of this? I know she means well but last time I checked your baby, star of your life, is 20. Which to me means you are a bit out of the loop Mrs. I-Always-Put-You-To-Sleep-On-Your-Stomach-And-You-Survived. I often want to ask her how she thinks her mother would have been towards her with her children had she lived, but that is a bit harsh and insensitive considering her childhood.

She is on a big kick about Christmas too. She doesn't know what she is getting the girls, isn't really discussing anything with me, and has repeatedly suggested that they need more toys. I think she is appalled that the girls have so few toys. She has purchased them an a.lphie II which I think is awesome, but kinda useless. The box says 3+ years. She always wants to get them things I had as a child, take the shape sorter that she bought the girls-an exact tupperw.ear replica of the one I had! Now in trendy colors!

I am trying to enjoy this new mother-daughter game, but she is really starting to rain on my parade!

Thursdeee

Hooray for colds!

No, not really. But I am a little excited that they seem to be moving quickly through our house. Since my nose is rebelling, I decided to start some Christmas jolly fat man day shopping. I'm a little excited to get it out of the way, but can't decide what to get for anyone.

I'm happy that DH has no choice in the matter agrees with me that we don't want to spoil the children. I definitely don't want children who expect mountains of gifts or who are overwhelmed by all the things they receive? What fun is it to open one awesome toy only to be told to put it to the side and open the other 40! I think we have decided, and by thing I mean I have decided and hope DH plays along, that we are going to get the girls a gift or two each and possibly one big gift together. I really think this is hard for DH because he comes from a family where Christmas was always a BIG DEAL and there were mounds of presents for everyone and GIANT stockings that over flowed. My first Christmas with his family, having only met his parents a handful of times, I too was the recipient of my very own pile and three foot stocking.

While that works for some families, I don't want and absolutely refuse to have a houseful of toys! If they outgrown/don't use/don't like something now, anything at all, I box it and send it down the line. My house is too small and I won't be parent with cluttered rooms in the back of my FB pictures! Speaking of which, do you ever look at the backgrounds of people's pictures? I do all the time and can't imagine why people would dare post such things! When your dirty laundry pile is taller than the child, pan away! I only mention this because I have a friend with two little girls and she is always complaining about having too many toys and dirty house. ALL of the pictures of the girls in their playroom disgust me! Who needs that many toys!? When you can no longer walk in the room, there is a problem! Call a professional, call me, call 911!

Back to program...

What one big "together" present do you get 16 month olds? I was thinking the play kitchen. I wanted to Ana.White a play kitchen for Easter though and the more I think of a kitchen the more I am worried about genderizing my kids and all the crap. Just because Mommy stays at home and loves to cook and clean doesn't mean that's a 'girl' job. Go be an astronaut, please, and buy me a nice condo by the beach!! I think WAAAAY to much about these things, which is definitely a result of staying home and have free time.

So what are your wee-ones getting this year? More importantly, do you buy into the whole Santa-be-on-your-best-behavior game?

Prematurity Awareness Day

Hopefully you've never been there, but many of us have. It's a distressingly hopeful, frightfully long, emotional roller coaster we call NICU! It's a quick trip through med school for many, it shaves many years off your life, and teaches you to trust in others, in yourself, and in things that are otherworldly. I am eternally thankful, yet it's a place I have yet to revisit. Those were dark days and looking back, we had it easy.

Our girls were almost born at 32 weeks and 3 days, but I held out to 33 weeks. I was a nut job but I like to think that those 4 days helped. I would have given anything to hold out another three weeks, regardless of what it did to me. At 33 weeks we were told that they might not breath, they wouldn't yet eat, and that they would easily spend another month in NICU. We were fortunate to have feeders and growers, but many are not so lucky. I remember walking around our NICU and couldn't help but look at the other babies. I distinctly remember the monitors and alarms, a sound that will never leave me. I remember the micro that Emma shared a room with after Claire was discharged. My heart broke for this baby whose mother lived in the next state with three other children. I also remember freaking out when she brought her germ infested kids into our room to visit. Eeeek!

We always give to the March of Dimes and I encourage all of you to do so. Each life is precious and without the technological advancement available today I know my children would not have survived. I think people treat prematurity like cancer, thinking it will never happen to them. It happens all the time, every day, 1 in 8 babies! IVF increases a woman's chances for cervical problems and multiples which increases the possibility for prematurity. One thing I've learned along our journey to parenthood is that babies are not a guarantee. I also want everyone to know that premies are not SICK. They are tiny, they need help. They may develop illnesses, they may be born with flaws, but the NICU isn't just for sick babies. I remember wanted to march a woman and her daughter right into the NICU and show her my NOT SICK babies when she told her daughter that the NICU was for the very sick babies.

Just remember, not matter what, it could be you. As for me, I'm off to be thankful that I have all this extra laundry in my life now.

Odd Bedfellows

So I have this stuffy baby. Everytimes she tries to breathe through her nose she sniffles and wakes. So to comfort her I brought her to bed with us which got me thinking...

Why do we bring sick children to bed? Why on earth would you welcome germs and disease into your bed?! Seriously-keep those gems to yourself kid. Have a humidifier and call me when you're ready for breakfast. She's lucky she's so warm and smells so sweet! Come to think of it, she's far more welcome than the blanket stealing DH and the stinky, mutant dogs.

Do they make a super king size bed? We're going to need some more room soon!

Old Belly, New Computer, & A Wellness Check

That's right! Apple delivered-FINALLY-so I am again part of the blogosphere! HOORAY!

That brings us to a much more important issue!!!

Really? What the hell is this? Here's a hint: it's not a baby, or two. Want another hint? It looks worse in real people pants, especially with belts. Other pertinent information include that it first appeared soon after the children were born and this disappeared, it's squishy and not connected, and if I try to suck it in it hangs! WTF?!

Is this answered in the follow up book to pregnancy that was never published? Someone should have warned me! Surely I wouldn't have tried so hard for babies if I knew I would be left with this. No, that's a lie... I would have found a Dr. willing to tuck it in while I was having my c-section! On a serious note, why isn't that included in a c-section? If my car is in an accident, they fix it like new so why didn't the Dr. fix this? I'm sure it's common with multiples.

So Marcia, how far along do I look? LOL! I'm thinking 12 weeks too! Sadly I don't think I look much different from here which was soon after the babies. How do you find the motivation to get rid of the last not-so-little bit? I'm pretty disgusted I flaunted that on the beach but I can assure you no one ran off screaming and there where many, many more who made me look like a goddess! So thanks to all you hammock wearing grizzle bears, can't wait to see you again next year!

On to something more important than myself...

The girls had their 15 month check-up (3 weeks late) today. I always work myself up over them being behind, being small, and all the other hoopla the Dr's worry about. I was surprised to hear my kids are normal. Apparently after the magically 12 month mark being small and FTT is just referred to as petite, like their mother. If you've marked low on growth charts for the first 12 months then it's ok to still be marking low and is now expected. Just to clarify, there must have been nothing wrong with my children for the last year that we've been "monitoring" them. Thanks western medicine!

Stats:

Emma: 19lb. 14oz. (10th percentile) [~9.02Kg]

30.25 in. (30th percentile) [~76.84cm]

18.5 in. head circumference

Claire: 19lb. 4oz. (3-5th percentile) [~8.73Kg]

29.5 in. (10th percentile) [~74.93cm]

19.25 in. head circumference

The walk, they talk, they eat. All is well. We go back in a month for a flu shot booster and our prevnar shot. I split their shots up and so far haven't really had cranky babies. No need to drug them up and feel that I am some how a nice mom for doing it. **Pat on back**

Has anyone used mineral oil with their children? Our Dr. recommended that before heading to different OTC drugs to relieve constipation. Poor Claire poops rocks. I have been reduced to talking about the pooping habits of the natives... I just hope this helps her and doesn't leave the diapers too messy. I also found out that Emma doesn't have ring worm, or at least the Dr. says she doesn't. I'm still skeptical. The Dr. says that it is a type of eczema and explained the difference between the two. We shall see. As long as I get a non-diseased looking kid in the end I'm happy. I felt horrible thinking we gave HAM ring worm. It sounds so dirty. I like to think of the natives as semi-clean. I use enough rags/wipes/paper towels/dish towels/MY SHIRT to try to keep them presentable and semi-sterile.

Best news from the Dr.... I can start DISCIPLINING!!! Hooray! I wasn't sure they totally 'got' discipline yet but the Dr said that if they are doing something wrong deliberately then it might be a good idea for time outs. I'm not really sure what 30 seconds and a 3 words will do for a toddler's behavior but I'm hoping it will alleviate some of the intentional pushing/pulling/throwing/shoving/finger poking/biting. The downside is that most of this is totally normal and I just have to let them fight it out for now. Oh how I need to do a discipline post.... I'm thinking a time-out mat ala Jon&Kate.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I am hoping to have a date with the Hubs tonight and I think DH really needs it. There is nothing like feeding the natives while trying to have a nice evening out!

Sizes

My new favorite thing to hate!! Sizes! How do you know what size you are?

You don't. Ever. Especially if you're a girl because the man likes to make life impossible. Saturday night I was able to go to the symphony with my mother. If you are keeping track this is the 4th time in the last 2 years that I've had to "dress-up" and for the last two years I haven't had a thing to wear! It started with the bloating from stiming and ends here with the post baby body. I have NO CLUE what size I truly am. I know that I am still shrinking to some degree because this time last year my flub was trying to make a break for it out of size 10 jeans which now fall off me. Sadly the flub is still around-so not fair!

Anyhow, the lesson I never learned as a girl is how to properly buy pants. Prior to having children my body resembled this:

I was a flag pole, in ever sense. But around these parts times have changed and so have I! VS can tell me what size bra to buy but who tells you what size pants to buy?? I am certainly not going to a tailor when I can do it myself, but I would love to find a proper fit. Another bonus would be to have my asset covered since Old.Navy seems to think it's totally acceptable for the world to think me a plumber.

So do you buy for your hips or your waist?

I'm not a belt girl, see previous flub comment, no one likes a roll!! But I don't want my pants so tight I can't sit and move, because movement is a big part of my day. That is unless it's nap time, in which case the pants have to be comfortable enough for my ass to sit around doing nothing! I also hate the 9 o'clock fall. The only pair of pants I have the fit reasonably well, a size 6 short, are suddenly too big come 9 o'clock. What the hell is this? Is my ass stretching the fabric soo much that my size 6 magically morphs into a size 8? Or do I need to buy a size 4 and be uncomfortable for the first 3 hours of my day?

Maybe Richard.Simmons was on to something with the spandex! I bet his jiggly old ass doesn't have to pull his pants up all day! Rest assured that I will never be sporting his fro' though.

So someone, anyone, please tell me how to buy pants!

P.S.

To the kind, southernly people of Louisville, KY-

Please get off your asses and load my computer on to the first nothern bound truck! You've been holding my package hostage since 1:16 AM Saturday, November 6!! It is now Monday and my weekend of stalking has spilled over into the week. This is unacceptable. I even got excited to see the Fe.dEx man pull up to the neighbors' house thinking maybe Brown called it in sick today and asked Fe.dEx to handle his delieveries!

P.S.S.

To my beloved A.pple-

If you feel that this hold up in shipping is questioning my loyality and don't want to charge me for my most recent purchase I totally understand. I would greatly encourage me to purchase in the immediate future.

Sunday Night Panty Raid

What?

Don't judge me! I know your kids dance around with your underwear around their necks too!

P.S.
I never make my bed, so I won't apologize that it's not made. :)