Infants & Toddlers

3 and 2/3 of my To-Do list has been completed. I have most of my depot list purchased. Nothing pool related has been accomplished unfortunately, hopefully I will get to that this weekend. We did have a good meal for lunch, and ordered a pizza for dinner. The wasps are hopefully on their way to where ever evicted wasps go. But more importantly, we completed Claire's evaluation!

Of course nap time went horribly and she was just waking up as they arrived. They did their thing, I tried not to scream that I wasn't a moron, and we called it a day. Hello, my husband is a teacher and I've completed everything but my practicum. I'm well aware what an IFSP is and the steps and procedures, please stop talking down to me thankyouverymuch. Claire is now the proud owner of her own IFSP, she was recommended for 6 sessions of OT to learn to eat from a spoon. The therapist feels she has sensory issues which make total sense and I suspected. The therapist was also very pleased that Emma was eating table food so I cancelled Emma's evaluation but can reschedule it later if I feel the need.

I'm not heartbroken, it's for the best. But I still feel like it is a waste. These people could be helping kids who truly need it. Which Claire really doesn't as she proved this afternoon by feeding herself 3 cubes of sweet potato that she has previously refused. Figures. The amazing part is that in a month I get to fill out more paper work for the therapy to actually start. By then she'll be eating 3 course meals and hosting dinner parties. It was a little disappointing to hear that she is consistently performing at an 8 month level with somethings being at 10 month level. I know it's just one hour of one day that she was observed by strangers in a different environment, and I'll even give to prematurity, but hearing it makes me feel like I should be doing more.

So I'll let myself fall asleep early tonight with the thunderstorms and lightning in the background. Perhaps start planning how I'll tidy the house for this woman's visit. I should definitely finish the floors, paint the baseboards, paint the front door and buy a new couch!

Tomorrow I will...

• Prove my child is not a slug
• Hit up the depot for electrical caps, pipe cap, and big tote (and mulch, don't tell DH)
• Get wasp spray!!!!!!!!
• Shop for some pool cleaner, scrubber head, floaties?, ladder screws, more chlorine and sanitizer, maybe new hoses and clamps, perhaps a filter and seal spend too much money at the pool store
• Hopefully drain the pool, scrub it, and refill it-only after the wasps have been evicted!
• Thank my parents for the use of their house
• Convince DH that we've earned a good dinner and relax

All that makes me not want to get out of bed, especially the non-slug proving and wasp part! Those suckers mean business! The back of my hand is still sore and I was stung hours ago! Thankfully the swelling is going down now. There are multiple nest around the pool, lucky me. They couldn't just say hi and let me go running like a girl, no they had to attack! I guess this is my punishment for spending last summer in bed baking babies and not opening the pool.

The water smells HORRIBLE! I have to get in there and clean! I think I may die, or bathe in bleach. Sooooo gross! I'm adding a pool boy to my wish list for the money fairy! Today I did finish the lawn and father came over after I was stung and took the cover off for me. I got that cleaned off and it is drying so I can fold it up and pack it away. As I'm sitting here I've remembered that DH didn't recover the grill. Maybe the wasps can have some burgers while we sleep, bastards. Sorry I'm so scatter brained, this evaluation has really got me on edge. I feel like the girls are being measured or judged if you will, as am I. I wish I would have blown this off. They are fine. Time to stop fretting and get a snack before bed. Hope everyone has a good Thursday.

Yesterday and Tomorrow

So that lovely little part for the dishwasher came yesterday! 3-5 days ha! Next day baby!!

So after I put the girls down the fed.ex man shows up and I get all giddy inside. I love fixing things. I'm a bit of a loser. I get my part and grab my tools and get going! Then I zapped myself and realized I should probably kill the breaker! I kill the kitchen, or at least I thought I did. I ran up and down the stairs 7 times trying to turn the power off to the dishwasher. The kitchen obviously has more than two breakers. I ended up zapping myself 3 times when I finally gave up and turned all the power off. It was getting a little ridiculous! There should be a light or something to let me know there is still power to the dishwasher when everything else if off.

After feeling like a total moron I get the pieces apart and ditch the old parts. I open up the package and see that they not only sent me the piece I needed, but the entire latch system! SCORE! $60 worth of parts in a $25 package! Put everything together and take 20 minutes to put all the screws back in and tada! The dishwasher is now repaired and currently cleaning a load of dishes! Mrs. Fix-It at your service! I'll need to get the breaker box properly labeled, and soon.

So today I cut the grass, in 90 degree heat. Gross. That took all my energy. The girls have been super fussy, I guess they don't like the heat either. So I broke down and put the window units in. Our house is old and we don't have central air. I keep telling myself I like being able to only cool certain parts of the house and save money but having been raised in homes with central air and not being able to tolerate heat -AT ALL- I will make sure that our next home is equiped with central air.

I need to finish filling out Claire's paper work for her evaluation tomorrow. These forms are quite intrusive for something I feel is a waste of time. I really get that "big brother is watching" feeling and don't want to answer everything. Creepy. Maybe I'm just paranoid. What does my current financial standing matter when you're evaluating my daughter's ability to eat? I have a feeling this isn't going to go smoothly. I just hope that my sister isn't home and that my mother picked up. We're going over early just in case. The girls can take their nap there while I pick up and fret. Hopefully the air will be on, but mother is notorious for waiting till July when everyone in the house is ready to burn her at the stake. In her defense running the air sometimes takes her energy bill over $500. Who pays that much? Insane!

Hopefully I will have good news to share tomorrow and can blog about what a waste of time and unnecessary worry this endeavor was.

Foods and Signs

So at 10 months, the girls are starting to chow down on table food and all before our evaluation making it that much less of a worry. The girls went from refusing all baby food and cereal to eagerly eating:

• Baked Sweet Potato
• Yogurt Melts
• Puffs
• Veggie Wheels
• Bananas
• Carrots
• Green Beans
• Baked Apples
• Watermelon

I need to add some variety to their palates. Any suggestions? We are almost into summer so I will have more choices at the store. I'm not ready to give them citrus yet and they haven't had any meat. I'm really trying to break away from the puffs and processed baby foods, but that was their gate way drug to the land of food and they are hooked. It does make me a little sick, not that I am super organic mom but I like to know what they are eating (and how to pronounce it).

They are still taking 4 bottles a day, 8 ounces in the morning and evening and two 6 ounce bottles at lunch and in the afternoon. I'm trying to get down to three bottles and really push food but they are really set in their schedules. The Dr and I didn't really discuss table foods and feeding issues as they weren't eating at all, hence their referral, so I'm not totally sure how to proceed. Of course I've have been faithfully following everything google has told me to do, cause that's how this mama rolls!

I've also been doing a lot of thinking and researching on signing. The girls should be speaking somewhat at this age and aren't but they are also at the age where they are wanting specific things and unable to communicate their needs. So I find myself the crazy mama pulling her hair out doing anything to placate the screaming child. Okay, so maybe they don't scream and put on elaborate displays but I definitely see it in our future. I believe I have convinced myself that by introducing signing it will create a dependence on signing and they will NEVER speak. If that were a guarantee to never cry I'd be game! I guess I will wait to see what these specialist have to say.

Speaking of specialist...how the hell do you get a baby to perform on command? This evaluation business is eating at me!

Dishwasher Repair

Well the good news is I can fix it. It is an easy fix and the part is $20! If I had any faith in gorilla glue I would fix the broken latch myself.

No I am not to cheap to just buy the part, hence I did buy the part. The bad news is it will take 3-5 days to get here since I refused to bay $25 for next day shipping on a $20 part.

Let's recap. I hate doing dishes by hand and we will be out of a dishwasher for at least the next 3 days. We only have a day's worth of bottles because why would I need so many bottles when we have a dishwasher! Ack! This is horrible! Oh and the kicker is I tossed the bottle brush. Ask me why, I know you want to! I used it to clean the fish filter because I have dishwasher and never clean bottles by hand....oh I am such a moron sometimes!

Wish me luck...

It's Always Something

Truer words were never spoken.

Our dishwasher is broken! These hands cannot be stuck in dishwater, I have served my time at the sink! This morning I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, I noticed I forgot a cup and went to put it in and couldn't get the dishwasher open, WTF? I got DH to get it open and then I had to fidget with it. I believe I knocked the spring completely off the door latch, so the dishwasher door isn't catching and locking properly. Not a big issue if the door would fully close and allow it to run! Mrs. Fixit to the rescue-I hope.

In addition to fixing the dishwasher, I wanted to clean off the pool cover, open the pool and cut the grass. That was until the forecast was screaming RAIN, RAIN, RAIN! So now I think I'll just piddle around the house, maybe start cleaning the baseboards or sand the front door for repainting. I think tomorrow I will have to go scout out mothers house and note the cleaning that needs to be done for our evaluation on Thursday. I am a little excited that DH may take a personal day to come be with us for Claire's evaluation on Thursday. Of course the whole reason I was holding this at my mothers' was so I wouldn't have to deal with the insanity of the dogs with everything going on by myself but I can let that slide.

Hope everyone had a restful weekend.

Evaluations Scheduled

So I&T called today to schedule the girls' evaluations. The more I talked to these ladies the more I realize they probably won't need any therapy and this is a waste of time for everyone involved. That being said, I am still super nervous. They did agree to do the evaluations at my mothers house so I don't have to worry about the dogs going bananas and eating anyone. Not that my dogs are vicious but Orion is very particular about who is in his yard. My mother also has a dog that looks far scarier than our dogs, but he is a big baby who has a big fence to keep him at bay.

Apparently they don't do twins together so they don't confuse their notes, so we have two appointments a week apart. Lovely. Asking my mother to keep her house clean for two weeks, impossible. I will probably go over and clean it. The questions they did ask of the girls abilities all seemed to hint to me that they are perfectly fine. Now that they have started eating table food I am really not concerned at all. The ladies couldn't tell me anything about the testing methods or what I should have on hand. This has failure written all over it. The nice part about this is that I find out at the end of the evaluation whether they are eligible for services, no white knuckles here!

The more I research they more confused I get. At 10 months, ohmygoodness they are 10 months today, they still have no real language. Emma hums and hollers and Claire is usually quite. This makes me think that I don't speak to them enough. In a twisted mommy way it makes me feel that I have ruined to perfectly good kids! I could be a little over dramatic but I just don't want them to start the race of life a step behind. I'm off to pout on our way to the post office-GUESS WHAT I AM FINALLY MAILING KAMI!!!

Child Labor

It's not child labor if they enjoy it, right? Today I noticed that Claire loves the dishwasher. I mean who wouldn't but she loves it a bit more than most I do believe. So how can I get her to load and unload it?

My dear father always told me he had kids to take care of the house and I think I'm starting to see the genius in his thinking. Too bad for him, his kids never listened!

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I'm Not Poor

No really, I'm not.

If you were to ask my family I'm sure they would tell you I'm destitute! I'm not sure what my mother is passing around the family, or what conclusions are being drawn off the comments I make but everyone seems to think that we are on hard times! True, we did lose a bit of money with me no longer working. That only amounts to roughly 20% of our income. DH has always been the breadwinner. It did take a while to learn to live within my new budget but I made it work. So where did this rant come from?

My cousin showed me her conversation with our Aunt. This would be the cousin who I am going to baby sit for. Our Aunt inquired about the childcare arrangement and asked what she was going to pay me, because I could really use the money. Hello? I'm not eating beans for super, although I do love homemade baked beans! I live my life much more simply and indulge in different ways. My children have all the need and more. Speaking of which, when do you start parting with toys? I am starting to feel overwhelmed with toys. I only like to give them a few at a time, to keep things fresh and interesting but we now have an over flowing basket and their birthday is not far off!

My cousin tired to defend what she said by stating that I double my family size (true) and lowered my income (true as well). But it doesn't mean I'm poor. Yes I complain about money, who doesn't! My Aunt complains about money all the time and she has lots! I also feel my complaints are reasonable, I need a new roof for the house and a shed. Those are big expenses and we essentially have one income with no real savings (thanks bed rest!). My Aunt is paying her daughter's car payment, and paid for the dog her daughter bought, and randomly sends money because my cousin can't keep her head on straight and think before she spends!

I'm not sure why this bothers me so much. I feel like I come off as poor white trash. I find myself analyzing everything now. Yes my clothes are ill-fitting but I HATE clothes shopping. I have gone a year without actual shoes because I love flip flops. I wear them year round. I need to refinish the floors in the house and complain often about that, but who wants all the dust in their house and especially around the girls? I do lots of homemade things because I enjoy it and I enjoy saving money when I can. I'm cheap and anyone who knows my mother knows I come by it honestly! My mother was willing to go against medical advise to save money! Am I over reacting? How much do I care what others think? How much do you care?

In other news, I am planning out build a baby gate for the girls room. I believe it will cost me $5-7 instead of the $40-60 at the store. I am on the look out for a guide to finger foods. Since the girls have skipped purees and want nothing to do with baby food. This morning Emma took a bite of a pb&j sandwich! I offered her a section where the peanut butter had oozed out and she took a big bite! I stood ready to smack her back because I was convinced she was going to choke. But no, she chewed it and opened her mouth for more! So I have decided to jump head first into finger foods. Claire is feeding herself and Emma is almost there. I feel like I missed out on baby foods and am sad I'll be wasting all those frozen cubes. Maybe I can put them in homemade baked goods or something. Any recommendation on finger food cook books anyone, Leigh?

Hershey Park Happy

We survived! And it wasn't horrible! AND I wasn't totally exhausted!

So the girls totally fine with the park, the people, and not having a scheduled nap. The did get some shut eye once they could no longer hold their eyes open and it seemed to work out. The blanket I packed to cover the stroller did seem a bit over kill according to DH but in my opinion it kept them out once they went to sleep. They handled waking up early well but were screaming for their bottles at 6 while they were loading the buses. They were even quite during the performances and Claire was waving her hands and enjoying the music!

Their first ride was a train and I survived. They also rode the monorail and the carousel twice! They really enjoyed the carousel. Claire was intent on petting the horses. Emma was all over the place and loved the rides. She will be our dare devil I do believe. As with every family trip I am desperate to get a family shot, and never do. Oh well, another time another place.

They pumping/nursing room was nice enough. Rocking chair was a bonus and they had free diapers and wipes! Not that I use disposables but I thought it was nice. It was also super cold which I loved. The pumping room made me realized that the girls are getting big, and pumping is getting old. It is nearly impossible to pump now that they are getting mobile. I was really keen on continuing till they were a year and beyond but it's looking like 11 months will be my cut off. I want to enjoy the beach and time with the girls and not be dragging around my trusty pump. The idea of leaving the family on the beach while I go pump in a hot car is not a turn on. I do feel bad for some reason, like I am cheating them but I'm trying to tell myself I did my best and it's time to have a little time for myself! Plus I'll get more sleep and that is something I will never turn down!! Pictures up later!

So how was everyone's weekend??

Hershey Park

Here I sit, pumping, with 3 hours of sleep under my belt. Why you ask? Because we are taking two babies to the "sweetest place on earth"!

I'm tired.

I'm sleepy!

I'm EXHAUSTED!

And all the alarms on my phone are horrible! Who wakes up to that crap? Wish us, and one over packed diaper bag, luck!

Egg Donor??

So far before we had children, before we discovered our infertility issues, and I think before we were seriously dating, I always wanted to be an egg donor. I felt like it was the closest thing I could do to give someone the child they wanted. I would love to just give someone a child, especially myself, but who could give away a baby? Certainly not me. But I can surely lend you some eggs!

With all the things that have happened over the last 4 years it has slipped to the back of my mind and totally off the radar till this morning. I am a fan of our clinic on FB and they posted something about needing egg donors! So I fired off a letter to my nurse asking her for some info and sneaking in a cute picture of the girls. DH and I will talk tonight. I think I am an candidate since we have MFI and I am fine. I hope I can donate. Cross that off the bucket list and collect a check! What could be better. Perhaps I could do it a few times. Maybe even make enough to pay off some debt and save for another round of IVF for ourselves. That would be amazing. But I am not getting my hopes up. I full expect to be turned down since I was previously a patient. But seriously, I'm young, healthy, and make beautiful babies! Who wouldn't want me??

So this will be at the forefront of my mind as I have lunch with my mother. Ugh. I still have no idea where we will go. I need to sign her cards. I should dress the girls up. I still need to throw diapers in the wash and do a million other things. There is a severe case of baby-itis going through me now and it's a total distraction! My cousin is 37 weeks today and just went in for a NST since she has been contracting and that just has me white knuckled. I am really afraid that seeing her with her new baby, and then caring for her new baby will depress me. Don't get me wrong I am totally excited for her and can't wait to meet Hammy but it will also serve as a reminder that I cannot just romp around and make another baby. Does that ever go away? I am so thankful to have my girls and should really focus my attention on their party.

I am still at a total loss for a theme, a cake, what to get them, blah blah blah. Right I am leaning towards an Eri.cCarle theme. Maybe the caterpillar made of cupcakes instead of a cake? I wish there was a guide book for planning birthdays, that would be wonderful right now!

Who Makes Pretty Hats?

I do! I do!

The First Mother's Day

I was lucky enough to spend my first Mother's Day working. Go me! I spent the vast majority of the day at work, with nothing to do. What a waste. I often wonder why I feel the need to maintain employment.

Anyhow, DH did very well for his first Mother's Day. He made breakfast and let me sleep-in! I couldn't have asked for more! "The Girls" picked out some shirts that I desperately needed since I'm a bit fluffier after have children and a CD which we listen to this morning through breakfast. He even had the girls sign their cards to me which is so cute. I wish I could have spent the day with them.

In other news, I still haven't called to get the girls evaluated. I plan on it, but I still feel that it is a waste of time and energy. Emma refused all baby food this morning in favor of puffs and yogurt melts. I have a feeling that they are never going to eat baby food and go straight to finger/table foods. I see no problem with that, other than I have this food processor sitting around not being used. For lunch today we are going to try avocado I believe. I am going to dice it and let them try to eat it in solid cubes. If that doesn't work I'll smash it. I bought two so I think I'll freeze the other cubed up. I really should be working on the yard during nap time but it's cold out again! It was sweltering last week and now it's 40 degrees and windy! WTH!?

I hope everyone had a nice Mother's day. I am taking my mother out on Wednesday, wish me luck. I fear she may bring the devil along....

What a Week!

I guess it wasn't any longer than usually, no adding days in or anything crazy like that. It was so long and tiring because I was alone! All alone, all day, for 3 days in a row.

DH has his spring concerts and at his large school it takes 3 days for the band and orchestra concerts. That means he left at 6 am and wasn't home till long after the girls were in bed. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday were so tiring I don't even remember Monday! I did manage to be productive, I think I knew in the back of my mind that if I didn't stay productive I would be over-run by babies.

Tuesday: We went to Virginia. Yes I did take two babies out of state for the day, alone, to have lunch with my Aunt! We went so I could measure her windows, I am making curtains for her sunroom. We left after morning traffic and made it back as it was just starting to begin. I have never made it around 495 so fast! It would have been a lovely trip if Claire hadn't been sick. She had a bit of cold which she has since gifted to Emma. I believe it was a tummy full of snot that made her puke all over my Aunt's floor, then my Aunt. I called to reserve a pavilion at the park for their birthday! Major accomplishment!

Wednesday: I started to scrub the deck after I cleaned it off! Boy was it a mess! We need to build a shed A.S.A.P! It was a busy day of running. Soft and Cozy Baby to pick up more diapers. Dear Emma has discovered you can remove velcro diapers very easily. I put her in snaps exclusively now. Then we went to Sa.ms Club and there was this. WTF?

Now I wouldn't have been so upset over the issue if the man hadn't nearly hit us trying to get in the space, gotten out and look at me and said sorry and walked away. He couldn't even get out of his driver's door and crawled through to the passenger side. Now I was a little close to the line, it looks funny in this pic, but he way to close. How am I suppose to get a baby in on that side? Oh that's right, I carry the baby as I put my ass in the the opposite car seat and throw her across! The I put the other baby in and buckle her in. Load the car and the stroller. Then as I was going to pull the car out to buckle in the first baby, who comes back and speeds off? Jerk! I hope your mini van blows up! Then we skipped the fabric store and headed to my cousins for dinner before DH's concert. I realized I left the BM and baby food in the fridge so I stopped at the grocery store. Got my items and some new spoons. Load the babies back and go to fold the stroller when some nice old woman comes walking up with my stroller. It had rolled down the parking lot and she thought there was a baby in it. Oh the embarrassment. Then we have a lovely dinner with my cousin. The girls got their first taste of watermelon and loved it. I got smacked with a mesh feeder full of watermelon and strawberry and had to change my shirt. My cousin tagged along for the concert which I was so grateful for because sicko Claire showed up again and as we were finishing feeding them Claire projectile vomits during a performance. Mother of the Year here decided to leave the diaper bag in the car because we weren't going to be there that long....ugh. So I haul-ass with a milk covered baby to get the diaper bag. We all clean off, because Claire got us all with a little of her dinner. Emma got a little fussy so we finished listening outside the hall. We go in to talk to DH and Claire does it again, only this time I roll her away. I immediately leave and have to pull over on a busy highway to attend to Claire who for the third time has vomited, in her sleep, in her car seat. I was happy to get home.

Thursday: I finally made it to the fabric store. I picked out fabric for sun-hats and found this super cute fabric to make some dresses from, I just need a coupon! I cleaned the pool cover off but I'm afraid to uncover it and look inside. It wasn't touched last season as I was on bedrest with the girls. I'm afraid a swamp monster is going to pop it's head out. The charger to my computer died so instead of a trip to the park as I had promised we went to the mall. I'm so glad Apple has stores now! We then had some al fresco dining on the front porch. Claire just kept eating and eating, bite after bite for an hour! After a few bites Emma was done so I had to entertain her. She did try to take a step or two as she was standing, scary. I'm not ready for that!

Now it's Friday. I work the next 3.5 days. I work on Mother's Day. But it will pay off in the end as we'll be taking the girls to their first amusement park Saturday! I'm not sure how much they'll enjoy it but it will be so nice to get out of the house and do something as a family! I really think I am done with work. I am so tired of working weekends and missing all the family events! Bossman complains when I want the weekends off, as I don't work during the week. I see his point but I really don't care. In the 6 months I was gone he trained no one to take my place and wants me to work more. They are just getting along with out me and I am tired of pickup a weeks worth of mess when I come in on Fridays! It's so not worth it. I'm not sure how much I will work during the summer, especially with business being down. I don't want to miss all the fun family time with the girls!

Next week's agenda is party planning, I need some ideas! I need to get going or it will be July and all I'll have is an empty pavilion! What do you for a first birthday party? Thoughts? Anyone? Someone? Help!

Dinner

A little al fresco dining on a warm spring evening.

Gerber Grads

So here you go Leigh. The yogurt melts in the bag are freeze dried fruit and yogurt that melts away. They puffs are the same idea and are made with whole grains and different fruits and veggies. I still have a freezer full of cubes; pears. sweet potatoes, squash, and mango. Emma will work her way through that as Claire refuses baby food and prefers to feed herself.

Hot Day In May

It's far too hot to sleep.