Pow!

Shot down before I could finish. No way, no how, not happening. C-section it will be if I don't have two head down babies. I just stopped talking. I was going to cry and I felt so defeated. DH came in and saved the day though, he always does. He explained my concern about not seeing the babies and being separated. As he was talking to her I realized that that actually is my major concern. I don't want to get a quick glimpse and then not see them for hours. I love my doc. She was very straight forward, she supported her arguments. I can appreciate that she is looking out for my best interest and that of the babies. She was able to explain that if we make it to term the babies aren't going anywhere. They'll be with DH in recovery waiting for me. I can nurse soon after birth and through the night, they can room in or be brought to me for night feedings. She really made me feel in control again. I am not thrilled to have a c-section and I am still begging baby Claire to turn head down to avoid this all together. I did find out that the hospital SUCKS-catheter BEFORE spinal, hospital policy. The instant I brought up birth plan she told me that she was not a tree-hugger! I love her! Then we talked about how some people are super controlling and try not to have IV's or want to circumnavigate state laws about vitamin k drops! This whole fiasco was really settled today and I am so much more comfortable.

HOWEVER! I did find out that the cerclage is coming out-Aug 12! With all the tension that is on it on there is no slack, and apparently isn't not going to be pleasant coming out. It will be done in L&D which makes me a little nervous. I fairly certain DH won't be able to follow me in and I'm scared I'll go into labor and they won't stop it. So I'll be alone with some pain, potentially having an unscheduled c-section. Ack! I really do have control issues! I'll pack a bag and leave it in the car just in case. I am fairly confident I'll be headed back home, I just don't know for how long. I'm putting myself back on strict bed rest, I want these babies well done! I also gained some more weight-go figure! I'm now up to 134lbs! Before we started IVF I was 92 lbs! That's amazing to me! I didn't think I would ever be this big! Hopefully some of it will stick around, I would love to shop for regular sizes!

My good news came in the form of a picture today. We're not a traditional couple, so why should our babies be? We custom ordered their coming home outfits! They were shipped today!

We want them to individuals, no identical outfits and this is border line. However we were able to have the colors spin in different directions which is just enough of a difference. These paired with tiny little jeans. We are both so excited. I could see DH dressing them in these everyday, wearing his own tie dye to match! DH is disappointed that they don't make red converse crib shoes, so much so he has though about white shoes with red fabric paint! I'm getting so excited!

Walking Contradiction

Thats how I feel. I was willing to do anything to get pregnant. The meeting tomorrow to discuss our delivery and do everything in my power to avoid a c-section seems like such a contradiction. I'd do anything to get them in, but I'm suddenly pick about their exit? But how can I calm myself? Who wants surgery, especially surgery that could be viewed as unnecessary? Am I wrong for wanting my doc to not take the easy way out? If she flat out refuses anything other than a c-section should I just accept it and lay down my demands for a c-section and hope they are respected? When am I allowed to decided what is best for my children and I? Is it worth it to seek out another doctor this late in the game? One who will respect my wishes and agrees with my philosophies? I feel so unsettled. I really like my doctor. She is best, she came highly recommended and I trust her. I have allowed myself to get too worked up and now I am questioning my decision to trust in this woman before we've even talked. I'm so defensive and this is really the wrong foot to go in on.

I also feel that DH should be more involved. I want his opinion, however I want his opinion to reflect mine. Yes we both want what's best for the children, however he is of the mind to follow the experts. Last night I found myself wondering if I am granted a shot at a regular delivery, will he live up to my expectations in a labor partner? This is something we haven't planned nor prepared for. Will I have enough support? I'm sure he'll be great, I just wonder if it something he is prepared for and interested in doing.

Over lunch today he said he'd make sure all my wishes were carried out. It was nice to hear, but I wish 'we' had wishes for him to over see. I feel like he is leaving everything up to me and I just wish he had opinions to share. I don't want to push him away or have him feeling left out. He's not a bystander, why should he feel/act as one? Ugh. I'm so unsettled and nervous. I'm not sure how to approach this, or how I will handle not having my wishes taken into consideration if that is the case. I'm hopeful that presenting medically sound supporting evidence will help my case. I want her to know that I search medical documents and journals, not some tree-hugger book from the library by the great earth mother. I really hate this limbo I've put myself in.

On the upside we now have flowers and more trees in the nursery. The extra infant seat attachment arrived today and the awesome diaper bag shouldn't be far behind! We're still waiting for the second car seat which I have a feeling we'll be buying. I would feel horrible and ungrateful going to my cousin asking where it is, even if my aunt was suppose to buy it for her. Finishing baby blankets are on tap for tonight's entertainment. Here's to hoping tomorrow isn't a bust.

A Tree Grows at 32 Weeks

So the wall were plain, too plain. DH and I spent today growing a tree in the nursery! It's gorgeous and I can't kill it!

And since today is 32 weeks, I decided to include myself in the pictures.

My sister-in-law thinks I am officially huge and I am beginning to agree. I can't being to imagine how much larger I'll get. The tree was really fun to build and luckily DH helped so it looks like a tree. I'm not much for the artsy stuff. I'm horrible at placement, balance...blah blah blah. However since we've finished the tree and it looks wonderful AND was easy and fun to do, we've decided we need more. Maybe another tree and some flowers, or a vine-anything! I'm sure we'll be heading out soon to peruse around the craft store.

Again I find myself dreading my next appointment. I am always anxious only at this appointment I intend to discuss my unwillingness to deliver via c-section. I refuse to have one unnecessarily or out of standard procedure. I really am willing and open to her thoughts and reasons but from what I read, it's not a necessity and I'm willing to take a little risk. So hopefully I will persuade her to my side and she'll let me go vaginal or I will leave understanding the necessity behind the procedure.

In other news, we have flies. A ridiculous amount of flies and since we've only put up one air conditioner, they seem to be flocking to the cold room too. I'm thinking that there must be a hole in a screen somewhere because I'm pretty sure there isn't anything rotting in my house LOL! The girls have been quite active for the last two days which is fun and annoying at the same time. I wish they would learn my ribs are sensitive! I think all their movement has contributed to my spike in BHC. Again, they are annoying but not painful or alarming-just a reminder that time is ticking and space is at a premium on the inside!

What a lovely week!

To recap week 31:

* Car broken into

* Cleaned/prepared nursery

* Relaxed with DH

* Beach trip

* Spare rib dinner with the inlaws and the sinking toilet

* Chocolate milk

Confused, no need to be. Knocking at 3 AM is never good, especially when you peek out our bedroom window to find 5 police cars, police scattered about with flashlights AND your car hanging wide open! Someone broke into our car, stole everything under the sun but was caught, chased and captured. Only as he ran he threw everything so nothing was recovered. I've decided he was a stinky, thirsty, sea turtle loving bum. Why you ask? Not because he made out with DH's ipod or my phone charger, but because he stole the sleeping bag, neck pillow, some CD's (but he left the Beatles-no taste!), lint roller, 12 pk of pepsi, jasmine-vanilla air fresheners, perfume, weimaraner bumper stickers and my sea turtle that hung from my mirror as my fertility good luck charm! What the hell does a person need with all that? How do you run with a pack of soda and a sleeping bag? I was most upset about the turtle, Tom, and spent the rest of the night flipping around in bed fearful that I would instantly go into labor without him around for protection!

We then clean the nursery. DH laundered everything and I put it all away. I feel so much better knowing the cribs are made and everything is in its place. Now all we need are babies to put it to use! Still need to pick up the pack-n-plays from my aunt and we're awaiting the arrival of the mythical car seat from my cousin/aunt/someone. I hope it comes. It's only available online and I'd like them to match.

DH and I relaxed. It was nice. No to-do list, no going out, no shopping-just sitting around being bums. He was actually not as excited as I thought he would be. The lack of forward motion upset him! Who knew? I thought I was over working him!

Then we hit the beach. It was wonderful. Almost 80 degrees, partially cloudy, really windy and rough sea. Perfect beach weather for the great white whale here! We were unable to find coming home outfits for the girls and I think the combination of dehydration and long car rides was more than I was ready for. I spent the rest of the evening contracting up a storm. The kind you should immediately call in, fearful of the well being of your unborn children. However selfish me hates hospital stays so I chugged water. More than one should chug! I peed all night! But eventually it settled itself as I knew it would. I will admit I feel horribly guilty and selfish not rushing to the hospital, 13 contractions in an hour is a bit much.

So I've been taking it easy. I've noticed since our little day trip my feet have started to swell. Nothing really noticeable, just puffier than before. Friday was rough. We went to the inlaws. DH fixed MIL's computer while I chatted with FIL. He's shopping skills amaze me. a box of cereal for 33 cents! Of course he loaded us up with his most recent finds while the girls were gnawing on my ribs. I felt like I buffet as I sat with FIL.

Last night I decided that our toilet is sinking. I no longer am able to just sit down, its more of a fall onto to seat. It has to be getting lower. It's ridiculous. I try my best to gracefully fall, especially when DH is around. I love providing entertainment! I guess this is just par for the course. However all was made better this morning when we went to the store and my favorite chocolate milk was IN STOCK! This delicious elixir could bring about world peace I'm convinced. I had some with breakfast, will have some with lunch, and then dinner. I will run out tomorrow no matter how hard I try to ration and may even shed a tear when I send DH out for more and it is again out of stock. I love support local business, I just wish they were capable to mass production sometimes. We drove past the farmers market because we were cashless and came home to find the nectarine I intended to eat with lunch was bad. Now I'm even more upset we miss the market. Ugh. So much for planning. Wow long recap of such an uneventful week! I'll go back to fretting now!

31 Weeks

I really didn't think I'd make it this far, but I'm so glad we have. Week 30 ended miserably. I was up most of last night with contractions. I debated waking DH up, but I knew if I did so too soon and they tapered off that he would be up worrying all night. I would have a few then they would space, I could get comfy and start to drift off but that would of course be interrupted! I'm blaming my eventful 4th of July weekend. For a lady on bedrest I must confessed that I enjoyed my time out way too much. We went to the parade where I laid on a beach towel in the sun, then walked up to the fair where my father got us in. The money we saved on admission I ate. We made a new addition to the family, Ramon-the most interesting fish in the tank! He is tiny compared to our whales! We finished the evening with fireworks and it was cold! July 4th and I was shivering with goosebumps!

I think my anxiety is really stepping up. Last night's contraction business didn't help. I'm not ready. It's not so much that we don't have anything, we pretty much have it all-sans my rocking chair! I'm excited to meet the babies finally and be a regular person again. I do have a huge issue with being carved up like a thanksgiving turkey. I have tried my best and succeeded in pushing the c-section out of my mind. Recently its all that has been on my mind and I'm really starting to crack. I still don't understand why I can't deliver Emma (who is a good little girl and facing head down) and then have a breech delivery with Claire. Or a breech extraction. Or jump up and down on the bed till she falls out! I really, really dread birth day. So much so the I can't even focus on joy of having babies finally! How do people deal with this?

I was thinking while we were waiting for fireworks that everything about this pregnancy is pre-planned and expected. I knew if the IVF was successful when my due date would be. I knew that it moved up 2-3 weeks once we saw twins. The only surprise we had was finding out the sexes and I wish we would have waited now. Maybe that would have given me something to be excited about once they've ripped my children from and taken them away to be "check-out" and "cleaned-off". I could marvel over the surprise of their sexes while my new family is whisked away and I send my husband to follow them while I lay on table in a cold room with my insides hanging out. I've been such a negative nancy the last few days, sorry to drag you all down. Hopefully another trip to the beach will lift my spirits.

To the Pharmacy!

I've been put on re.pliva which is an iron supplement the size of my head. Ok, perhaps not my head but at least the size of a cough drop! They're huge! And now that I have them in my possession, they remind me totally of birth control which really makes me laugh. All the pills are labels by day in a blister pack bill fold with different colored absorption pills for the last week. But to secure said iron, DH nearly lost his mind and our town it's pharmacy!

On our way home from the Dr. DH dropped it off at the local pharmacy, where I have dropped off prescriptions my entire life without problem. He was told two hours, three hours later we arrived and he was told 15 minutes. Well he was not a happy camper about this and had a small fit. So we went out to fill my snowball request and he picked up some groceries-plenty of time to fill right? Wrong. DH was VERY UPSET. So he took back the prescription.

The next day we went to the other pharmacy where we fill our "fertility needs" and I am apparently a "fertility patient" which means I can talk to Sally and no one else. I call in a refill for prenate using the auto system and she calls me back to let me know I need to talk to her. DH dropped off my iron prescription with whomever was out from and left. I called to check that it was ready before we headed over from our baby shopping excursion and was immediately sent back to who else-Sally. Who again informed me that we needed to see her, no one else because she handles the fertility patients! The whole time I'm waving my hands in the car because it's iron for Pete's sake! Lots of fertile people are anemic! At last she found it and it was filled waiting for me. It had been mixed in with the regular folks-HORROR!

However when DH went into pick it up some cut in front of him in line and he wasn't to pleased with that. The guy was a real jerk too and DH was already mentally exhausted from following me around baby shopping. I think from now on I'll handle the pharmacy trips!

I think the babies are in the midst of change, they were awake ALL DAY yesterday which was very weird. I know we traveled a bit but ALL DAY was totally out of the ordinary. Of course I haven't been able to sleep at night, which I did when we were away. But that stopped as soon as I got home. I usually try to sleep from 5-9 in the morning but they are usually awake, but not this morning! So I am hoping they are finding a new pattern that is more like the real world and less like my uterus!

Breakfast time!

Home!!!

Where to start?? Well the shower went better than I anticipated. The recliner was still there, in all it's La-Z-Boy glory. I joked with my father that he'll never be able to sit in it again because his baby having days were over. Aside from a small panic attack before gift opening I handled it well. I waited patiently for the cake, which was absolutely delicious. I need to upload that picture to show. We had good food and a good turn out. Everyone was pestering me for names as soon as we walked in the door! So without further hesitation the babies will be:

Baby A: Emma Mae

Baby B: Claire Telyn

More importantly, my girls made out like bandits!

Not pictured is the Con.tours Op.tions Tandem Stroller which I love and can't wait to use, the other car seat that is in the mail and a mystery gift waiting for personalization. The lady from work who said she was bringing fried chicken never showed, no surprise. However I was looking forward to her gift, she promised to get the other matching full size car seat for the one she bought us months ago. Oh well. We received virtually everything we need, including big ticket items like the stroller and breast pump. We managed to only get two duplicate items-amazing!

Our anniversary was Tuesday, so to celebrate we went to the beach-home for us. It was wonderful and so relaxing. We ate at our normal haunt and treated ourself to our favorite restaurant for a celebratory dinner. DH had his fair share of wine and I gave the babies a sip each. We made it back to our room safe and sound. Below is the official week 30 picture that is finally NOT in my bedroom prison cell! How is that for a "pregnant glow"??

Today we hit the doctors on our way home from the beach. My belly came in measuring 39" which means I'm done right?? LOL. I put on 8 lbs. from last visit for a bold 128. Cervix and cerclage is holding up well and she even gifted me some more movement so guess who is headed back to the beach?? The babies measured almost identical at 3lbs. 7 oz. and 3 lbs. 8 oz. showing even, steady growth and had good fluid measurements. The downside to all this is Claire is still breech and time is ticking. My c-section will be at week 38 and I'm none to pleased. I'll forget all this in 5 years so says my OB, but until then I'll worry my pretty little butt off!

Today DH almost blew up the pharmacy, but that story can wait till tomorrow...

Shower Day

I am still trying to think up the best excuse to get out of this. I've decided faking labor would be bad but being sick wouldn't cut it. Maybe a fall down the stairs!! I really don't want to go. Last night DH scared me even more saying my parents were "setting up" the night before, so my mind was active all night wondering what "setting up" needed to be done. I'm dreading decorations and games, I want everyone to eat and leave me be. I hate being the center of attention. From my trip out yesterday I'm tired and sore, I didn't sleep well worrying about today and I'm anxious I'll not seem grateful, interested or appreciative. I'm just a ball of joy-who will come in "all her glory" as mother put it. What a phrase!

On the bright side, we will be recipients of goods for the babies and that will cut down on our expenses. I recently found out that there is at least one uninvited guest who I'm not fond of and another guest has decided to bring fried chicken-how random! So wish me luck, I'll update with pictures by tomorrow of our gifts and "all my glory". I'm so glad DH is coming and I'm not letting him leave the side of my recliner throne! Maybe a tiara and scepter isn't such a bad idea after all.

Storm Before The Calm

Who's excited about vacation? I am! Two days, just DH and I. The beach over our anniversary, shopping for the girls, enjoying good food-a wonderful time to be had. However before I get there there is some business that needs to be taken care of. 

The Shower

I dread it. I don't know how I am going to make it through. Growing up I didn't have many birthday parties and I hate being the center of attention. I'm not, however, opposed to gifts and freebies! It will be good to see family and friends, and to get out of the house-more specifically this bedroom! I am just so anxious. I'm not into showers, for myself or others. I don't know how to handle myself and I have a tendency to be sarcastic. I don't want to appear ungrateful and knowing that I am a.) very picky and b.) hate pink and am have girls, I'm sure this is going to happen. I would much rather people just mail me boxes. People who aren't attending have done this and it has been wonderful! Gifts show up, it's a mini christmas, and I go back to what it was that I was doing. 

To further show my ungratefulness, I hate the idea of the recliner. My parents decided to keep me as laid out as possible during the shower so father is taking his recliner for me to lay in. Its so dumb, I will be fine. I don't have the heart to tell them though. I suggested that my rocker would be lighter and more manageable and left it at that. See I am already prepared for disaster. So far I've counted about 20 people I think that will actually be there, I'm not sure who else my mother has invited from "Oh you remember so-and-so" category but I'm hoping not many. It's bad enough I can't do small talk and like to sit by myself in corners during social gatherings, imagine talking to 'a friend of the family' who I last saw when I was 9 or worse yet not knowing who I am talking to at all! The anxiety I have over this is mounting to dangerous levels. At least if I cry they can just say I'm hormonal and know one will have to know it's because the last thing I need is 47 pink onesies that say Daddy's Girl!

In other news, the letters to hang over the cribs have been painting and as soon as we remember to pick up 3M tape they can be hung. We finally got around to cutting DH's hair last night and I will be picking hair out of ever nook and cranny till the next hair cut. That man is a beast! I think after we get back from our little get away I'll send DH out for some baby approved detergent and start setting up their room. Clothes in drawers, diapers stacked, sheets spread. Then we can go through all the gifts we received and match them against our needed list. I'll then send DH and my cousin out for the rest. Maybe I'll just go myself, this house can't hold me for much longer!

Violins Please

I don't feel pretty anymore.

That's the only way to describe it. There are no longer clothes that fit or look attractive. I hope the tent maker is on his way to town-I'm in need. I realized that I needed a nice out to go to dinner while we're away. I'm so excited to go away, I can't wait. I haven't really cared how I look and don't often leave the house anymore. I tried on a dress I had, 0 petite from WHBM-it got stuck! SOOO while we were out today I just passed by maternity and picked up a dress. DH insisted I try it on. I cried in the dressing room. I felt like I had a tent on and I just noticed that my chest is covered in big blue veins! Lovely! I know this is a temporary situation. DH assured me I looked beautiful and made suggestions of stuff I'd be more comfortable it. But the truth of the matter is that I no longer feel like myself or like a functioning independent person and I'm not sure that can be fixed. 

So I'm comforting myself with the fact that it is one day, one outfit.  If I'm so determined to wear my bikini on the beach, why should I let a dress bother me? I should be more concerned that the only shoes I wear now are flip flops and I can't really shave anymore! Pregnancy is full of all the joys I'd hoped for!

29 It Is

I've made it to week 29, hooray. Now if the babies would kindly mind relocating from my ribs and back down into the belly! Father's day was good. I gave DH a book on preparing and caring for twins and two cute sno.opy blanket puppets. It is the perfect mixture of our two childhood talismans. I went with DH to see his parents, we stopped to drop off my father's gift to an empty house and I stopped by to see my godfather. Since I've been granted some movement I'm taking full advantage!

In reading the twin book I got for DH, I'm starting to second guess some decisions and choices. Maybe it's just the way she presents information. I real want a rocking chair but the book said it wasn't practical for twins and I wouldn't use it. That I should invest in a day bed-oh right cause with two cribs and two dressers I have room for a day bed! I think DH and I will have a sit down soon and figure out how we are going to attack handling two babies. So far its just been preparing for their arrival, but now I need a game plan!

Maybe pictures tomorrow, I am sore and tired today. I decided to get up and do some house cleaning so I feel useful so off I go!

How?

So I scan the gossip sites, and catch up on the latest celebrity news. Nosey I know but what else am I to do in the prison? So today's question comes from the latest reports...

How do you divorce with 8 children?

I am almost disgusted with my near obsession with Jon and Kate, the drama is too much. I do feel terrible for the kids having a mom like that and seeing their lives played out on tv and in tabloids. I don't think she was that bad a few years ago when she was still mothering and not being the super-mom-celebrity-author type. Now with their eminent divorce, I wonder how you work a divorce of this nature? They're loaded now thanks to the show, but how do you work out things in the best interest of the kids? And is it wrong of me to think so much less of Jon if he really is moving to NYC? Isn't it all about the kids? It should be. 

Of course all of this has me thinking of my own marriage and the pending birth of our children. I almost want to pen a custody arrangement before they are born, just to be prepared. Not that I ever intend to divorce, but in the event that it happens it would be something we agreed on in better times. Does that make sense? Now my head is spinning, my husband is too good for me to ever want to leave and he is going to be a wonderful family man. He always puts us first and I never thank him enough. [Thank you babe, you're are the best and all we'll ever need!] I think I am just over reacting. I love pregnancy induced craziness! 

In other news, amazon delivered my replacement package-just after some neighbor delivered my first one! My maternity wear came from old navy and apparently we have different ideas of full panel pants!! Oh my goodness they are so tight and low! They hardly make it past my belly button! My mother called today and told me to order my shower cake! Her words "Can you do me a favor? Go order your cake. Get what you want." Wowzer! I'm so excited, I'm sure she won't be as much so for the bill!! I have an idea of what to get but I'm still not sure! I'll close with a picture of the cribs! DH started staining the dressers today-I'm so excited!

Note the printer and modem still in the nursery, apparently the tech Ver.izon re-sent out was still just as incapable of make the internet work anywhere else in the house!

Who Has The Best OB-I DO!

Ok, I'm in love with her. I'm really contemplating divorcing my husband and going after her. Yesterday's visit was the best. Simply the best. It started with me being insanely nervous. I'm always nervous since the cervix scare that led to bed rest. I now know that feeling fine doesn't equal being fine, that some problems do not show themselves, and hospitals are not ideal vacation spots. 

However yesterday's visit was a normal visit. No dildo cam, no cervix worries. It was as if I were a regular pregnant girl. The nurse checked for heart beats, then I was measured and had an internal and we were done. Dr apologized for hitting my babies head, she must be sitting low. I'm still 50% effaced and the stitch is holding. I wish I would have asked how sure she was that it was a head she was hitting and not a bottom still. That was it. We went in for our little meeting afterwards and after teasing me about puking she decided that I didn't have to go back. I was rather vocal about not going for a second try so maybe that helped. Instead I have to check my sugar and report it back. Its starting off as just a fasting, post breakfast and post dinner readings. I really think that this should be an end to all this diabetes mess. I found out that my one-hour test came back at 144, 140 is the cut off. The two readings I was able to get in during the three-hour test were both normal. So maybe I run high, but I don't think I have GD.

What is even better is I got some more mobility back!!! I asked to go to the beach, fully expecting to be shot down but she said YES!!! Turns out she spend last weekend at Lewes and goes regularly. She even loves our favorite restaurant! Maybe we'll get her a gift certificate!! I'm so excited! I was ready to leave the hospital for the beach! However there were dogs to feed and dressers to buy. We stopped at Ik.ea on the way home for baby dressers and got some dinner. I think I had my first real contraction on the car ride home. It wasn't horrible, just much stronger than my regular daily contractions. The babies have been active since yesterday and someone always seems to be awake now. As we were waiting to go back I heard my beloved Dr tell a patient "10 kicks in 12 hours" which made me chuckle. I can do 10 in 20 minutes! My knee and hip are sore today, I fell yesterday. Not a real fall, just down to my knee when I was changing. However DH was out walking the dogs at the time and his concern when he found out was insane. To me it's something that just happens, however he was upset for about 2 hours after that he wasn't here. As if he would have been able to "go-go gadget arms" and save me! I wish he would relax a little. I really feel as though we are "of the woods" so to speak. At 28 weeks babies have a 91% survival and it just increases with the weight they gain. I guess he'll be worrying for the rest of his life now. :)

DH put one crib together yesterday and is currently working on the other. I'm so excited. I need to have the sheets washed and start putting stuff together. Since I have some more freedom and movement there is so much I want to do. I feel revived and alive now. I'm sure DH is going to try to keep me down. Yesterday I was suppose to receive a package from amaz.on, and the tracking page said it was delivered but it wasn't. I was so upset! So I email them around 9pm. 2:30 am this morning my inbox received a message with their apology informing me that they've sent out my order again, this time with one day shipping-all at no charge! Hooray! I think this is the first thing I haven't had to fight for! I also received an email that the personalized m&m's have shipped and should be here today or tomorrow and that my new maternity outfit has arrived and will ship out tomorrow! All these boxes remind me of christmas! Another one of my daily checks is our baby registry. Yesterday I discovered that someone purchased a bouncer and two booster chairs! Last night someone got a car seats. I'm so excited. It's like peaking at Santa's list as he is packing his sack! I wonder what today will hold!

So I end this, my 100th post, on a much happier note than usually. Hopefully I'll post some pics of the developing nursery later. It looks fantastic! I wonder how far away a crib needs to be from a radiator...?

Glucose 1, Mandy 0 **Updated**

Yup, I blew it. I had my baseline drawn, drank an absurdly large amount of this crap

and had my first hour blood drawn. I felt like poop, I was light headed with a head ache, had

 spotted vision and was fighting with all my might to keep it down. I'm sure I looked wonderful. Then I decided that I was too tired and felt bad enough that laying down was in order. Cue spiral! 

I couldn't get comfortable. Thought maybe a trip to the potty for a splash of cold water might help and sat up. From there it just got worse and worse. I felt back, my vision completely went and I could hardly hear my husband next to me! I just kept waiting to pass out. But no, I just felt worse and now had to try and make it to the bathroom. I stumbled out of the car and crouched down to get my bearings. Then we started walking. It was then the mouth watering started. The uncontrollable, you know you're about to puke and nothing will help you, copious amounts of drool. Bam! I'm hurling! In the parking garage no less, with car passing enjoying the free entertainment. 

So there I stood- tears streaming down my face, orange crap flying out of me, hunched over with hands on my knees for balance. Bouncing off the cement the glucola dealt it's final insult by landing on my feet, flip flops, shins and in my hair! I was a ball of joy. I gathered myself while poor DH kept rubbing my back and telling me it was ok. But it's not ok, I tried as hard as I could and failed. I'm going to have to go back I'm sure. I'm going to my appointment Wednesday with a list of glucola alternatives. I had problems both times, glucola and I aren't friends and I refuse to keep trying. It's not going to magically stay down on another day. I'll change my diet and get a meter, but no more glucola!

So to reward my effort we went to Cracker.Barrel! Yum. I felt so much better once my system rid itself of the orange demons that I inhaled my food. Now I'm back in bed. That was enough of an outing for one day. I am wiped. I find myself wondering how I will handling being up and active again, with twins no less, after spending so much time in bed! 

Now for the week 28 pic...I'm thinking this is motor-home size!

I'm Failing at Pregnancy

That's how I currently feel. The office called yesterday to let me know that being HYPO-glycemic prior to pregnancy and taking fist fulls of iron during pregnancy, I failed my glucose test and still have very low iron. Fantastic. Now I have to schedule a 3-hour glucose test with more of the drink I despise. As for the iron, I'm not sure what else to do.

Gestational diabetes doesn't scare me, although changing my diet will probably break my spirit. It's bad enough being locked away in my bedroom-let me have my fruit and sweets! Part of me hopes I could skip diet changes and go straight to insulin, I've handled IVF! The more I analyze my diet, the more I fret. Lots of fruit, juice, cookies and ice cream. My trusty twin book  reminded me that things like ketchup, bbq, granola, honey mustard, and my beloved baked beans all have "hidden sugars" and that gestational diabetes is of course more common in multiple gestations-thanks girls! Now that I've been reflecting, I wonder if the twins weight gain as well as my own has been linked to this?! Everything I read seems to say that GD just makes bigger babies as they're overfed on my sugar. Is that such a bad thing with twins? I know they won't mature faster but a little meat is welcomed in my opinion. So in finding the humor DH was baffled to find out the GD as well as other diseases and ailments disappear after delivery. It made no sense to him! I already know I'm destine to get Type-2 later in life, gotta love genetics, so I'd just like to wait till then thanks!

The iron  has me more concerned. I've always been anemic and I'm not a fan of the beef regularly. I've been taken double iron daily and have incorporated beef and more iron rich foods so what's the deal? Vitamin deficiency? What scares me most is the possibility of a c-section and bleeding. I'm paranoid so transfusions are something I want if I'm 93% dead. I think the c-section poses unnecessary risk for bleeding for me and I should just deliver breech babies vaginally! But I'm willing, dreaming, hoping, and DEMANDING they turn head down and stay so hopefully this will just be another episode of me over reacting and expecting the worst.

In other news, mother is visiting Thursday. She is bringing me a trash can and I'm SO EXCITED! This mean I should really get a graduation card for the chosen child. DH is done with school on Friday-hooray! This leaves me all summer to have 'honey-do' lists completed! Last night I was like a small child who was seeing hail for the first time. It was a nasty storm and I was really waiting for one of the neighbor's big trees to fall on one of our cars AGAIN but no luck. I was planning a big production of waddling my fat self over to her front door and throwing a hissy fit! I really should have DH go over the cars for damages, perhaps tonight. Off to lay around like a lump and contemplate calling for my next round of tests.

Round and round

So I made an interesting discovery today during one of my bathroom trips. The wonderful new mesh short DH brought home from wally world a few weeks back are a little large. By large I mean they are a  medium, 

a MENS 32-34 MEDIUM!

And THEY FIT! 

Now I know that I'm pregnant and that the preggos get larger and larger. I however, started off in a 00P from Ann Taylor. I scrounged the petite sections of every store! I'm 5'2"! This is insane and I really can't imagine how much bigger I'll get.

In other news DH is losing his mind as he and my father dismantle our dilapidated shed. They started last night and were hoping to be done today but my father is clueless. DH could have probably taken it down single handedly in a day. I can only imagine how much fun assembling a new shed will be! Poor DH had planned to do so much today. I feel like I'm holding up his life. He really needs to get his school work done and this distraction is not putting him "in the zone."

In other news the "paper lady" at my company sent me a card which meant a lot. Now if she could only hurry along my STD pay! I'm hoping that this resolves itself soon. I've got a lot to take care of and plan for in the next two and a half months!

Freedom

...for a brief 5 hours and it kicked my ass! Welcome to the third trimester!

Stop 1: The Doctors

Ultrasound first where we see two happy babies. Both growing equally well, measuring right on time still, and weighing just over 2lbs. each! Good fluid for both. They have both flipped to breech with their backs facing out so we didn't get any decent pictures. Cervix is still short and closed but no longer funneled which is GREAT NEWS! That took 25 minutes so I tell the front desk I'm going down to glucose hell since my appointment with the Dr is still half an hour away.

Stop 2: Diagnostic 

We walk in, sign in, sit down to fill out the normal paper work. I made DH wait to take it up so I could give myself enough time have my Dr appointment and make it back down for the blood draw. They take the papers back and we wait. Some old man is called up and he falls over and lands on his back with his legs sticking straight up in the air. I'm grabbing DH's arm, speechless but trying to usher him to help. The old man gets up and the desk nazi says "You must have balance problems, you look like you've done this before." Wow! She's a bright one! Then a nurse comes out and finds me, I run down my personal info and am handed the cup of yuk. YUK YUK YUK. Luckily it was only 3/4 of the big paper cups, but it was soooo gross. It was as if someone watered down melted orange lollipops with sugar. It tasted medicine-y and I almost lost it. Mean while DH is cheering me on as if we're in college and I have the funnel! Still some time to kill before our appointment so we sat outside and talked.

Stop 3: The Doctors

Back at the Dr. We go back almost immediately. Poor Shana had been looking for me but the desk never told her I went to get my glucose done. So we go back and I weigh....117 now! Holy crap!! 8lbs in 2 weeks! BP is normal. Off to the room for the feeling up of the prego chick. We wait and wait and wait. With 10 minutes left till my blood has to be drawn, an impatient DH goes out and we are told to go down for the blood draw and come back. 

Stop 4: Diagnostic

I walk back past the desk nazi who remembers me but does but has no clue. I go back, and someone who actually correctly pronounces my name sends me to a chair and chit chats while he draws my blood. Why is everyone so amazed that such a tiny person is having twins?? So then it's back upstairs.

Stop 5: The Doctors 

I think when I walk past the increasing crowd in the waiting room, and past the smaller crowd in the back waiting room people must have been thinking awful things about us. Shana puts us in another room for some more waiting. All this time with pants was quite interesting. Then the wonderful Dr. C shows up. We've started calling her by her first name, Claire, she's like part of the family now. Checks me which is always so much fun, and announces the stitch is the only think holding the baby in and that baby A's butt is right there against her fingers! What a comfort to know that a tiny piece of thread is keeping me pregnant! She says everything looks wonderful and to meet her in her office. I get dressed and off we go. I bring up the letter we received in the mail stating the short term disability people want more info and are still not paying me. She insists they are crazy, because she hates people and I love her for it, and says it will all get taken care of. She goes off about suing them if they keep being a pain. I love her! I also got her to settle DH down about contractions. I'm a horrible wife and don't tell him about my contractions which upsets him. They are only Braxton-Hicks but he gets so upset when the word contraction is heard. He then compulsively checks on me and asks if I've had more. He seems content with her 6 in a hour rule, and that they BH are harmless. We are finally done! We leave and the parking attendant said no charge as we pulled up. What a nice end to a 2+ hour doctor visit.

Stop 6: Dinner and Shopping!!!

So my treat for being a "good girl" at the doctor was dinner out. I was exhausted. We hit Fridays where I was sadden to see that they've taken fried macaroni and cheese off the menu. Dinner was delicious none the less. DH let me go to TWO craft stores, and then I went in the grocery store really quick. It was a busy day. Well, as busy as my days are now. 

I'm upset that I let myself get so worked up and worried. It all turns out fine for the most part. I am going to make an effort to tell DH about my contractions. In fact I just text him. I hope he doesn't think I'm being smart! Another week and he is done we school and we can spend the summer preparing!