Infants & Toddlers

3 and 2/3 of my To-Do list has been completed. I have most of my depot list purchased. Nothing pool related has been accomplished unfortunately, hopefully I will get to that this weekend. We did have a good meal for lunch, and ordered a pizza for dinner. The wasps are hopefully on their way to where ever evicted wasps go. But more importantly, we completed Claire's evaluation!

Of course nap time went horribly and she was just waking up as they arrived. They did their thing, I tried not to scream that I wasn't a moron, and we called it a day. Hello, my husband is a teacher and I've completed everything but my practicum. I'm well aware what an IFSP is and the steps and procedures, please stop talking down to me thankyouverymuch. Claire is now the proud owner of her own IFSP, she was recommended for 6 sessions of OT to learn to eat from a spoon. The therapist feels she has sensory issues which make total sense and I suspected. The therapist was also very pleased that Emma was eating table food so I cancelled Emma's evaluation but can reschedule it later if I feel the need.

I'm not heartbroken, it's for the best. But I still feel like it is a waste. These people could be helping kids who truly need it. Which Claire really doesn't as she proved this afternoon by feeding herself 3 cubes of sweet potato that she has previously refused. Figures. The amazing part is that in a month I get to fill out more paper work for the therapy to actually start. By then she'll be eating 3 course meals and hosting dinner parties. It was a little disappointing to hear that she is consistently performing at an 8 month level with somethings being at 10 month level. I know it's just one hour of one day that she was observed by strangers in a different environment, and I'll even give to prematurity, but hearing it makes me feel like I should be doing more.

So I'll let myself fall asleep early tonight with the thunderstorms and lightning in the background. Perhaps start planning how I'll tidy the house for this woman's visit. I should definitely finish the floors, paint the baseboards, paint the front door and buy a new couch!

Tomorrow I will...

• Prove my child is not a slug
• Hit up the depot for electrical caps, pipe cap, and big tote (and mulch, don't tell DH)
• Get wasp spray!!!!!!!!
• Shop for some pool cleaner, scrubber head, floaties?, ladder screws, more chlorine and sanitizer, maybe new hoses and clamps, perhaps a filter and seal spend too much money at the pool store
• Hopefully drain the pool, scrub it, and refill it-only after the wasps have been evicted!
• Thank my parents for the use of their house
• Convince DH that we've earned a good dinner and relax

All that makes me not want to get out of bed, especially the non-slug proving and wasp part! Those suckers mean business! The back of my hand is still sore and I was stung hours ago! Thankfully the swelling is going down now. There are multiple nest around the pool, lucky me. They couldn't just say hi and let me go running like a girl, no they had to attack! I guess this is my punishment for spending last summer in bed baking babies and not opening the pool.

The water smells HORRIBLE! I have to get in there and clean! I think I may die, or bathe in bleach. Sooooo gross! I'm adding a pool boy to my wish list for the money fairy! Today I did finish the lawn and father came over after I was stung and took the cover off for me. I got that cleaned off and it is drying so I can fold it up and pack it away. As I'm sitting here I've remembered that DH didn't recover the grill. Maybe the wasps can have some burgers while we sleep, bastards. Sorry I'm so scatter brained, this evaluation has really got me on edge. I feel like the girls are being measured or judged if you will, as am I. I wish I would have blown this off. They are fine. Time to stop fretting and get a snack before bed. Hope everyone has a good Thursday.

Dum, Dum, Dummmm.....AHHH!

9 Month Check-Up Report

Emma is 16 lbs. 8 oz.

26 3/4 in.

50 percentile for height

10 percentile for height & weight

Claire is 17 lbs. 10 oz.

25 1/4 in.

25 percentile for height

25 percentile for height & weight

They have met their motor skills milestones and our wonderful Doctor was pleased with their development. They are right on track for a typical 9 month old with no signs of their prematurity. They are on the verge of crawling and can move around quite well. They are starting to pull up and try to stand. The can grab at things both big and small. The pay attention to detail, respond to their names and track. So why the dark cloud?

The dark cloud come from our referral to Infant and Toddler Services. But they are right on track?! Oh there is that one little thing with them not eating. Really kids? You're 9 months old and this dairy can't stay in business forever. Emma is still using her tongue to push her food out but she is eager to eat and will open her mouth. Claire doesn't like the spoon unless she is chewing on it. She fusses and fights baby food, she will turn away, swat at the spoon and blow raspberries! However, of the food you do manage to get in a good portion does make it to her tummy most of the time.

Working against them is the fact that they are preemies and considering they haven't had any issues with prematurity I am both surprised and not overly concerned. Also going against them is that they are twins, and twins tend to do this. I'm assuming it's because them mimic and learn from each other, and if no one knows how to eat no one is going to learn. They also aren't making many distinguishable sounds, but that is mostly Claire. Regarding food they are sitting around a 5 month level.

So this warrants a call, a call to schedule a meeting and evaluation. If they are found to be 25% or more behind then they will be recipients of IFSP and being receiving the therapies they need. My little paper from the Dr. tells me that I am requesting they be evaluated for speech and occupational therapies. The up/down side is that these people come to the house for the evaluation and any therapies they qualify for and it's F-R-E-E! Great that I don't have to travel, horrible because I have behemoth dogs! That and I am slightly embarrassed that my living room is now baby central. We have no couch, just a swing and baby entertainers. Our coffee table is a car seat loading station. We've traded a rug for play mats.

Why am I so worried about the house and not what is best for my children? I'm not entirely convinced they need intervention. I am not one to compare and I dislike this whole milestone business. I wanted to argue with the Dr. but that would definitely label me as a bad mother. I could go all yuppie and argue that in other cultures babies subsist on breast milk past the first year and don't eat solids till their much older and all the other blah blah blah. I feel bad for not feeling bad. I want them to eat, I really do. I also feel partly responsible, I've been playing the "what if" game all evening. I have decided that I am going to start pushing them harder. This afternoon I picked up some puffs and yogurt melts. Emma gladly took it and then pushed it out. Claire took it and ate it. And even had some more of the yogurt melts. I'm hoping yogurt melts can be her gate-way drug. Maybe I am too optimistic?

DH isn't pleased at all. He is questioning everything he's done up to this point. His big fear is that there is some larger issue that isn't being discussed. ITS is run by the Special Education department of the county school system and being a county school teacher DH is afraid they will be labeled as Special Needs and have a 504 for the rest of the education careers. I think that is a bit much, but I understand his concern. I wish I could put him at ease. I'm looking at the situation as they can eat, they just don't. Besides, two teenagers who only drink 4 bottles a day will save me bucket loads of money!

Does anyone have an experience with this? My friends' daughter has a speech delay and is currently going through this same process. She assured me they won't tell me I'm a horrible mother and destroying perfectly capable children, but I have a fear of strangers. How can I trust someone I don't know with my child? Why can't I just figure it out and help them myself? So tonight I will be googling and planning my attack. These children will eat come hell or high water!

Who Has The Best OB-I DO!

Ok, I'm in love with her. I'm really contemplating divorcing my husband and going after her. Yesterday's visit was the best. Simply the best. It started with me being insanely nervous. I'm always nervous since the cervix scare that led to bed rest. I now know that feeling fine doesn't equal being fine, that some problems do not show themselves, and hospitals are not ideal vacation spots. 

However yesterday's visit was a normal visit. No dildo cam, no cervix worries. It was as if I were a regular pregnant girl. The nurse checked for heart beats, then I was measured and had an internal and we were done. Dr apologized for hitting my babies head, she must be sitting low. I'm still 50% effaced and the stitch is holding. I wish I would have asked how sure she was that it was a head she was hitting and not a bottom still. That was it. We went in for our little meeting afterwards and after teasing me about puking she decided that I didn't have to go back. I was rather vocal about not going for a second try so maybe that helped. Instead I have to check my sugar and report it back. Its starting off as just a fasting, post breakfast and post dinner readings. I really think that this should be an end to all this diabetes mess. I found out that my one-hour test came back at 144, 140 is the cut off. The two readings I was able to get in during the three-hour test were both normal. So maybe I run high, but I don't think I have GD.

What is even better is I got some more mobility back!!! I asked to go to the beach, fully expecting to be shot down but she said YES!!! Turns out she spend last weekend at Lewes and goes regularly. She even loves our favorite restaurant! Maybe we'll get her a gift certificate!! I'm so excited! I was ready to leave the hospital for the beach! However there were dogs to feed and dressers to buy. We stopped at Ik.ea on the way home for baby dressers and got some dinner. I think I had my first real contraction on the car ride home. It wasn't horrible, just much stronger than my regular daily contractions. The babies have been active since yesterday and someone always seems to be awake now. As we were waiting to go back I heard my beloved Dr tell a patient "10 kicks in 12 hours" which made me chuckle. I can do 10 in 20 minutes! My knee and hip are sore today, I fell yesterday. Not a real fall, just down to my knee when I was changing. However DH was out walking the dogs at the time and his concern when he found out was insane. To me it's something that just happens, however he was upset for about 2 hours after that he wasn't here. As if he would have been able to "go-go gadget arms" and save me! I wish he would relax a little. I really feel as though we are "of the woods" so to speak. At 28 weeks babies have a 91% survival and it just increases with the weight they gain. I guess he'll be worrying for the rest of his life now. :)

DH put one crib together yesterday and is currently working on the other. I'm so excited. I need to have the sheets washed and start putting stuff together. Since I have some more freedom and movement there is so much I want to do. I feel revived and alive now. I'm sure DH is going to try to keep me down. Yesterday I was suppose to receive a package from amaz.on, and the tracking page said it was delivered but it wasn't. I was so upset! So I email them around 9pm. 2:30 am this morning my inbox received a message with their apology informing me that they've sent out my order again, this time with one day shipping-all at no charge! Hooray! I think this is the first thing I haven't had to fight for! I also received an email that the personalized m&m's have shipped and should be here today or tomorrow and that my new maternity outfit has arrived and will ship out tomorrow! All these boxes remind me of christmas! Another one of my daily checks is our baby registry. Yesterday I discovered that someone purchased a bouncer and two booster chairs! Last night someone got a car seats. I'm so excited. It's like peaking at Santa's list as he is packing his sack! I wonder what today will hold!

So I end this, my 100th post, on a much happier note than usually. Hopefully I'll post some pics of the developing nursery later. It looks fantastic! I wonder how far away a crib needs to be from a radiator...?

Glucose 1, Mandy 0 **Updated**

Yup, I blew it. I had my baseline drawn, drank an absurdly large amount of this crap

and had my first hour blood drawn. I felt like poop, I was light headed with a head ache, had

 spotted vision and was fighting with all my might to keep it down. I'm sure I looked wonderful. Then I decided that I was too tired and felt bad enough that laying down was in order. Cue spiral! 

I couldn't get comfortable. Thought maybe a trip to the potty for a splash of cold water might help and sat up. From there it just got worse and worse. I felt back, my vision completely went and I could hardly hear my husband next to me! I just kept waiting to pass out. But no, I just felt worse and now had to try and make it to the bathroom. I stumbled out of the car and crouched down to get my bearings. Then we started walking. It was then the mouth watering started. The uncontrollable, you know you're about to puke and nothing will help you, copious amounts of drool. Bam! I'm hurling! In the parking garage no less, with car passing enjoying the free entertainment. 

So there I stood- tears streaming down my face, orange crap flying out of me, hunched over with hands on my knees for balance. Bouncing off the cement the glucola dealt it's final insult by landing on my feet, flip flops, shins and in my hair! I was a ball of joy. I gathered myself while poor DH kept rubbing my back and telling me it was ok. But it's not ok, I tried as hard as I could and failed. I'm going to have to go back I'm sure. I'm going to my appointment Wednesday with a list of glucola alternatives. I had problems both times, glucola and I aren't friends and I refuse to keep trying. It's not going to magically stay down on another day. I'll change my diet and get a meter, but no more glucola!

So to reward my effort we went to Cracker.Barrel! Yum. I felt so much better once my system rid itself of the orange demons that I inhaled my food. Now I'm back in bed. That was enough of an outing for one day. I am wiped. I find myself wondering how I will handling being up and active again, with twins no less, after spending so much time in bed! 

Now for the week 28 pic...I'm thinking this is motor-home size!

I'm Failing at Pregnancy

That's how I currently feel. The office called yesterday to let me know that being HYPO-glycemic prior to pregnancy and taking fist fulls of iron during pregnancy, I failed my glucose test and still have very low iron. Fantastic. Now I have to schedule a 3-hour glucose test with more of the drink I despise. As for the iron, I'm not sure what else to do.

Gestational diabetes doesn't scare me, although changing my diet will probably break my spirit. It's bad enough being locked away in my bedroom-let me have my fruit and sweets! Part of me hopes I could skip diet changes and go straight to insulin, I've handled IVF! The more I analyze my diet, the more I fret. Lots of fruit, juice, cookies and ice cream. My trusty twin book  reminded me that things like ketchup, bbq, granola, honey mustard, and my beloved baked beans all have "hidden sugars" and that gestational diabetes is of course more common in multiple gestations-thanks girls! Now that I've been reflecting, I wonder if the twins weight gain as well as my own has been linked to this?! Everything I read seems to say that GD just makes bigger babies as they're overfed on my sugar. Is that such a bad thing with twins? I know they won't mature faster but a little meat is welcomed in my opinion. So in finding the humor DH was baffled to find out the GD as well as other diseases and ailments disappear after delivery. It made no sense to him! I already know I'm destine to get Type-2 later in life, gotta love genetics, so I'd just like to wait till then thanks!

The iron  has me more concerned. I've always been anemic and I'm not a fan of the beef regularly. I've been taken double iron daily and have incorporated beef and more iron rich foods so what's the deal? Vitamin deficiency? What scares me most is the possibility of a c-section and bleeding. I'm paranoid so transfusions are something I want if I'm 93% dead. I think the c-section poses unnecessary risk for bleeding for me and I should just deliver breech babies vaginally! But I'm willing, dreaming, hoping, and DEMANDING they turn head down and stay so hopefully this will just be another episode of me over reacting and expecting the worst.

In other news, mother is visiting Thursday. She is bringing me a trash can and I'm SO EXCITED! This mean I should really get a graduation card for the chosen child. DH is done with school on Friday-hooray! This leaves me all summer to have 'honey-do' lists completed! Last night I was like a small child who was seeing hail for the first time. It was a nasty storm and I was really waiting for one of the neighbor's big trees to fall on one of our cars AGAIN but no luck. I was planning a big production of waddling my fat self over to her front door and throwing a hissy fit! I really should have DH go over the cars for damages, perhaps tonight. Off to lay around like a lump and contemplate calling for my next round of tests.

First Trimester Screening Blues

I feel like a basket case. I'm almost in tears over this screening today. I begging to leave work early and I came home to cry and drowned my pain with some chicken tenders. So after giving these babies there unhealthy dose of processed chicken product, I think I'll head up and shower, take a quick nap and then stand looking at all the clothes I have that don't fit.

I don't know why this screening has me all out of sorts. I am pretty much only doing it because it's another ultrasound and I love seeing them. I'm upset that I'm going alone and terrified of bad news. But there is more to it and I can't for the life of me figure it out. I'm literally making myself sick over this, it's so ridiculous. If it's bad news, its bad news. It's not like I'd abort the babies we've worked so hard to get. So then what is my problem? 

Scary new genetics center? 

Not knowing where exactly I'm going? 

Just the thought of going alone?

I'm so lost and scared right now. :(