Summer Knees on the Wrong Kid

Yesterday I had a not entirely shocking revelation. I parent to the child, based on the individual child and actions, and don't have a set reaction. While its not a bad thing, I find myself wondering if the ladies notice it among themselves. More importantly I'm concerned I'm setting myself up for a you-wouldn't-make-her-that's-not-fair kind 0f future.

This bothers me to my core. Not that life is fair or I want my children to grow up thinking it should be. I was that kid that screamed, and still screams, that's not fair. It was because of unequal treatment I screamed you love her more. Of course there are many other factors that have lead to the less than stellar relationship I have with my parents but I.Would.Die. if my own children felt this way towards me.

All this over a skinned knee? You bet!

It wasn't a tiny scratch on my rough-n-tumble, adventurous, go-get-em' child. It was a massive, double knee, knock your shoes off and scrap your toes kinda skinned knee. I looked for skin on the pavement because I could feel the sound of her hit in my stomach! This happened to my play-it-safe, shy, and reserved child in her moment of being the leader and running wild.

I would have first told the others they shouldn't have been running on the sidewalks and that they should be watching for the dips. I would have made the others stand as at least try to walk it off and back to the house. I could have bandaged the others and they would have happily headed back outside.

She is different. She is sensitive.

So I scooped her up and we walked home, all the while I tried to calm her before she hyperventilated and held tight to her tiny body didn't shake so much. The others talked about what they could do to help her on our return trip. After she was bandaged we stayed in and cuddled. The other two brought her the prized books and toys, and played quietly by themselves.

Are your kids understanding or do keep things the same all the way around?

Do I take this as an understanding gesture? Are they just showing compassion to a horribly skinned knee?

Above all else, I'm just going to assume I'm over analyzing this as I do everything else. This parenting gig never looked this hard when I started.

Modesty

I have to admit, the process of making and growing babies really killed any sense of modesty I had. Butchered it, burned it, baked it into a pie, and ate it! However, it's come back to me. So as I sit trying to order clothes for the ladies, I am struck again by this modesty issue.

My ladies are 3, they will be turning 4 in the middle of bathing suit season. That's 4, not 24. It's not even that I'm concerned about their delicate skin, emma is rather casper-ish, being scorched. I just want them covered. It makes me feel old, and old fashioned, and rather hypocritical as I flounce around in a bikini top. Notice it's only the top, the ladies helped transition me over to board shorts while they were killing my modesty. Why am I all of the sudden worried about their modesty?

Because they're becoming young ladies?

Because they're suddenly aware of *certain* parts of the body?

Because I'm afraid of peepers?

It was all cute when they were naked babies, it was all in good fun and cute pictures. They'll always be my babies, but who decided that my babies needed to flaunt their goods? No need to make tiny suits revealing, have you seen them playing in the water? They reveal plenty on their own.

So what's a mama to do?

I have scoured the net, and I finally found as close to perfect as I believe exists.

It covers.
It's cute enough.
I can order in pieces for different sizes. ( My kids are completely assless.)

But do I drop.... wait for it..... $120 on swimsuits for the ladies?

Swimsuits that will last one season. Even if I order generously, I'm sure they will need new bottoms next year, another $50! I could skip a swim top and do rash guards exclusively, but that only saves me $25 I think.

I've even considered burlap sacks and browsed the "swim fabric" at Joa.nns. At the speed I work I should finish just in time for fall and this will be a non-issue! I'm sure I'm over thinking this. I have to be. So tell me...

Where do you find suits?

And are you half as obsessive as I am??

Thankful Tree

So we did it. I stuck to it. I REALLY loved it.

I'm not sure it would be nearly as entertaining with children of a different age. I'm sure it would be more thoughtful, but for now cute is working for me! The ladies each chose a color and we did one every day that we were together. 

Of course I tried to harp on the true meaning of being thankful and really tried to instill how fortunate they are. That seemed to really hit home when I told them some children don't have food to eat and they're always hungry. I might have implored them to make more of an effort to eat what is presented to them as well. :)

Thomas Matching Game, because games wouldn't suffice. 

Food because I'm so hungry. Clearly I starve them. 

Someone agrees our house is warm!

I did make an effort to guide them more towards the end, giving them specific areas in which they might be thankful. HAM offered her parents as something she was thankful for, Every.Single.Day. I guess she must love them a lot! However I didn't make it onto the tree until today, our last day! Nice ladies, thanks.

Uncle Tim joined in our shenanigans! 

As for me, I'm currently most thankful for my belated Valentine's gift!! Conveniently schedule for the day before next Valentine's day!

Anyone else feeling fortunate and thankful?

I know I am!

Now to finish up Turkey Day and officially begin the holiday rush. I'm not feeling festive at all, but I would like to finish things up early for once so I'll be jumping on Deanna's bandwagon. See what you've started, Deanna?! Part of my list will be to set up an advent calendar.

We didn't do advent growing up. So I'm making this up as I go alone, but I'd love some input. I loved the counting down aspect of our thankful tree and it adds to our morning time routine. I'm completely opposed to turning this into pre-gaming for Christmas so there won't be little toys and treats everyday. Instead I'm thinking of leaving cards that list crafts, activities, and other things we need to prepare for Christmas. Things like getting and setting up a tree, making cards and ornaments, and sorting and donating our old toys! This is a big deal because we have a closet full of toys the ladies have yet to receive!!

So were you an advent kid? How far off am I? Am I creating therapy bills?!

Post Election and Colors

It's done an over.

We remain a country divided politically. People are so worked up about this and I just don't understand it. Life goes on. It's four years, and if you're that upset that you need to move to Canada I'll gladly help you pack. I find faults with both of the major candidates, so no, Obama did not get my vote. Whether it's a vote waste, or one cast in true belief, I'm just glad it's over. I wish people would worry more about their congressional votes, you know the people who do the law writing who most people don't blink an eye at?! Just a thought...

We took the ladies with us, and I let them each take turns pressing buttons on the screen. They were thrilled to vote, and happily took their stickers. One of which may still be plaster on a dog. I was thankful we went later, there were NO LINES despite record turn outs. We celebrated by going to a questionable establishments that serves chicken, and proceeded to discuss in kid friendly terms that we voted for everyone to have the same rights to marry. HA!

I was very relieved to find that my state approved same-sex marriage. Thrilled even. But what shocked me was that it narrowly passed by less than 100k votes! Get with it people!! Separation of church and state! Do onto others and all that!! Why does the government need to be involved in defining marriage? I just have to share my friend's post on the topic.

If the "old Catholic farts" get it, what's wrong with everyone else?! Sigh...

I could have cared less about the casinos, for I knew the revenue wouldn't be going to schools. Redistricting issues come and go. I supported removing convicted criminals from office. The one that really made me think was tuition for illegal immigrants, but hear me out. 

I'm not sure why this is an issue. How many illegal immigrants are petitioning for in-state tuition? Is this some sort of baiting tactic? I clearly didn't do my homework here. I do feel though, that if you're going to give people who aren't here legally the benefit of cheaper tuition, that that benefit should be given to students across the board. So instead of allowing illegal immigrants to obtain in-state tuition rates, you would be introducing flat rate tuition for all students regardless of resident status. And how about instead of making such narrow laws that apply to small segments of the population, you tackle more affordable tuition for the masses by funneling that casino money directly to education?? Money can't fix everything, but it can sure hire more teachers! Smaller class sizes will undoubtedly improve learning, and then maybe we wouldn't need those expensive NCLB tests?? Teachers might be able to teach outside the test again! KIDS MIGHT LEARN! They could even become upstanding, tax paying citizens....crazy I know!

Stepping off that soap box...

I laughed when I read that Marcia's office was swooning over our black President. I laughed because to some people here he is either too black, not black enough, or just right. Apparently people aren't just people. We were watching the new Mumford & Sons video that stars Idris Elba and with the shadowing in the video he does seem to have a rather dark complexion. Emma announces, very plainly, that he is black. I simply agreed with her, and we continued watching. This stuck with me all day. Of course I am just blowing this out of proportion because she is only three, but my children have no diversity in their life. Did I do the right thing by not making a big deal? 

I discussed this with the hubs who said I should have used the moment as a springboard into race and equality. That people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, but that they are all the same. He was also the one the brought to my attention that they are surrounded by only white people. Not that it is intentional, but we just happen to not have a diverse family. We live in a traditionally white part of town. We have a white doctor, a white dentist, and a white mail man. My children are living a lily white existence and I kind of feel like a failure as a mother for not exposing them to some multi-cultural playgroup.

Does race need to be discussed? Does it need to be discussed with a three year old? 

I'm at a loss.  

Holy Tricycle!

So I thought I was ahead of the curve, I splurged on a balance bike and the girls love to play with it. With it, not on it. They're just a little too small, still, over 6 months later. They do play with it, and the love to be pushed on it. They will actually just sit with it sometimes. Oh, and they have no idea about how to steer.

Prior to the skuut, we had two hand-me-down toddler bikes. One a small, pink princess bike with training wheels and the stupid adult push handle, the other a small, plastic, fisher price trike. They still love to play with these outside. LOVE TO! Especially the trike. I am desperate to get rid of princess number, it's doesn't encourage them do use it themselves and I'm not going to push them up and down the sidewalks. Not happening.

It's been gorgeous out and bikes have resurfaced on their radar, and with Easter around the corner I am all about buying some tricycles. But HOLY TRICYCLE BATMAN! Is it just me? Are tricycles ridiculously expensive? Am I that cheap?? You can tell me. I can take it.

I was expecting roughly $30-$50 depending on the quality. For another cheap plastic special I was willing to pay $30-ish dollars, hopefully catching a sale. For a replica of my beloved Radio Flyer (that is sitting in my attic with the wooden blocks still taped to the peddles) I though $50 was reasonable. $100 for two bikes was reasonable for me, assuming I went for something durable and lasting. However paying over $100 for two plastic hunks is making me nervous. A plastic big wheel is $60 at Hellmart! As is the traditional Radio Flyer which is where I'm currently leaning. The tricycles I fell in love with are too big and over $100 each. Have you seen the Italtrikes?? I love them!!

Add to this price debacle the fact that the girls have requested pink and purple bikes which makes me cringe. I also refuse to buy anything with crazy characters on it just to save a few dollars. I want something relatively plain, I want them to focus on riding the playing-not showing off dora or what each button does. It's a bike, just ride. I want something that will last but I don't want to spend a fortune on it if the transition to real bikes early, like I planned because kids should grow according to plan!!


Help me?! Am I really that cheap? Is this reasonable? Do you have trikes yet?

I'm leaning towards two traditional Radio Flyers and jazzing them up with some decals or something. I like the newer Radio Flyers but I can't justify spending $80 on a trike. But these plans will be blown out of the window if I can find this at a yard sale on the cheap!!

I LOVE IT!

Spring Is Coming & Preschool?!

... or so I thought! Cue snow flurries on the first day of my spring themed activities. Mother Nature can be such a B sometimes! Despite the freezing temperature today, it was sunny and 60 this weekend, we plowed ahead. We started the seeds for our container garden.

Do I think they will grow? 

Yes.

Do I have much faith we will actually keep them alive and thriving to have something to harvest?

Enh...

We clearly bought WAY TO MANY seeds so hopefully they won't go to waste. We are growing tomatoes, peppers, green beans, peas, and watermelon. This was only one tray and we could fill about 4 more. I figured that I could stretch it out over two days, a way to revisit the previous day's activity. It also serves as a way to keep my sanity while the screamies are trying to taste everything in sight and there's water near my electronics!

Claire is most excited about the prospect of flowers. She keeps going on about how everything is going to grow up to be a flower. This is the same child who when we started the "spring-growing" discussion told me she wanted to grow cheese in her garden. Unsatisfied that cheese was made from milk and not grown in the ground, she informed me she wanted to grow a cow!

How logical!!

Claire was so fascinated by the process, I really enjoy how different she is from Emma and HAM. She picked up each tiny seed, carefully placed them, recovered them, and picked up tiny pieces of soil that had fallen. She is so fastidious! She even sat waiting for them to grow. So sweet.

The ladies had a blast making holes and dropping seeds. Clearly I wasn't thinking when I gave the smallest seeds to smallest child. HAM's rows might not all sprout but I'm sure there are two or three cups that will have MANY sprouts! LOL! She was so happy to stick her fingers in the dirt, I can wait till we transplant them. I'm even happier that will occur outside and I can sweep everything away! She wasn't to pleased she couldn't sample the soil, but luckily she got over herself. 

Emma was soooo precise counting her peas for each hole. I'm kicking myself for not making them all count them into cups first. She enjoyed holding her seeds, and I think she enjoyed the independence and trust I gave her most. Of course once we were done she was the first of the pack to run for the brooms!

I even went through the rigamarole of explaining the growing process. We watching a youtube video before we planted and put our cards in order. All the while Claire was asking when the plants got flowers. It was a bit like a science lesson, if I was a homeschooling mom.

Speaking of homeschooling, spring has got me thinking. 

I should be looking now for preschools for the fall. 

But I don't want to. 

My biggest complaint is that preschool, from my viewpoint as (basically) a SAHM, is a babysitter. For 2 or 3 days a week I'd be getting a roughly 3 hour break. It sound nice but is it worth it? I wouldn't use the free time to do the grocery shopping or browse Tarjay. That last one is a total lie. The ones that I've priced range from $125-200 a week. Holy dollar signs Batman! I found one that offered part-time, pay as you come. But it was $90 a day for the both of them. How much am I willing to pay?

Am I too cheap?!

Those prices aren't terrible for one child, but for two I think it's pricey. In a month's time that is a mortgage payment and most seem to only offer a 10% discount for multiples. I'm not saying my children aren't worth it, but I wonder what they are really getting. Sure I'm not three and we don't socialize they way they would with other three year olds, but what else would they miss? To remedy the socialization issue, because my kids aren't very sociable, we are looking into what's available. I have found two kiddie dance classes which I think Claire would love. I'm not sure what to get Emma into. I definitely think they would benefit from some peer socialization and would enjoy the interaction. It's also hella cheaper to try some rec classes before I commit to dance company or paid sports team because back here in reality, they're only TWO! They don't know what they want to do!

I'm also not one for a play group. I'm not the Mom who would sit with the other Mom's chatting while our kids went crazy on the playground. I often feel bad when we're outside playing with the neighbor girl and I can't hold a conversation with her mother! She is seriously a sweet and honest person, someone I like, but I am social tard. I would much rather be coloring along side them or trying to get a good shot while they fly head first down the slide!

So where do you stand? What have you done, tried, passed over? 

Am I such a hermit that I am inadvertently raising little hermits!?

I'm sure this is much easier for working moms, it's just one expense for another. You're giving up daycare for preschool. Moving from someone watching your child to teaching your child. But I since I'm already home I hate to put out money for something I can do, especially since I'm not bring home the bacon!

Maybe I'm just over-thinking this?!

Offering Unwanted Advice

I'm doing my, arguably, best friend's taxes. Great blog fodder, no?! I wouldn't consider her financially savvy, or secure. I've done her taxes for quite a few years, and by quite a few years I mean she has her own tax file in MY filing cabinet. She's pushing 30, still lives with her mother, has yet to get her license (and we took driver's ed together!), and seems to have virtually no plans in life. She wants to move out on her own, she wants to find a better job,  and she wants to drive. She even purchased a car (almost 2 years ago!) which her mother has subsequently commandeered when her car died.

With all the background, I can add that she thinks she is financially responsible. She used her savings to get her mother back on track with her mortgage AND pay for her mother's bankruptcy. She is spent financially. However this was only a few thousand dollars, and it took her years to save that. She sees manicures and regular dinner and drinks with friends as enjoying life. Which it is, but it comes at a cost. That cost being she still lives at home and has nothing to show for herself. I can tell you since high school she has been buying little things and putting them away for "when she moves out" and spares no expense treating people.

So do I tell her she's going about life all wrong, or is that not my place?

Through the course of the last year she managed to be $297 in her 401k. I spend more than that in groceries, in a stock up Sam's trip, in gas each month, even for groceries for two weeks! I managed to put more than 5 times that away for myself working less than 20 hours a week! There is a large part of me that is concerned that she will never outgrow this, that this will just be how she exists forever. Is there anything wrong with living at home for a while, no. But it would be nice to have something to show for existence for the last decade.

I worry that I am over stepping my bounds, projecting my values and ideals onto her. And then I wonder, can I really be friends with some one like this? That sounds so shallow, and yes I will always like her as a friend, but is there a dividing line where people are just too different for you to handle? How much longer will I tolerate being called the old lady who never has fun? Will I eventually hate my best friend for never growing up?

So this is what I'm pondering today, especially with Marcia's recent posts on friendship.

How quickly do you judge people? And how do these judgements play into your relationships?

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!???

So it turns out that this little girl...

(honest, I took this picture yesterday!!!)

is nearly ready for

THESE THINGS!

What happened? How did it happen?? Where was I???

If you ask DH I was pressuring her to perform. All I know is that with a little encouragement we make peepees in the potty all day long! Holla! It's bittersweet, but I am thrilled that she seems to get peeing in the potty. She isn't shy about where or which potty she pees in either. She can pee in the travel potty (which we've never used while traveling), pee in the dreaded but hugely popular froggy potty, or just pee using the big girl potty straight up. Pee, pee, pee. Miss Emma can pee. 

But that's where is seems to stop. She has the pee part down but I'm not sure how else to encourage the unmentionables-other than to mention she should always do them on the big girl potty because my days of personal pooper-scooper are nearing an end! She specifically demands a diaper for her other business. So I tried the whole we don't need a diaper route. She totally just pooped and then informed me she was a "yittle wet". I was expecting only wet when poop came flying out! 

So my question is how do I address this? Do I allow her to keep messing herself till she gets it? I can't ask her to sit on the potty anymore than I already am. Would letting her wear the panties encourage her? Because I don't want to give her the panties and then take them away. She is clueless about panties since I've taken the "freeballin" approach today. We keep things classy!!

My second, and far more troubling question to all the same sex twin parents in the universe:

Do they share underwear?

Seriously?! Do they? This grosses me out. I would never share my underwear. EVER. I'd just go without. A friend simplified it for me a bit. They are sisters. They are little girls. There is plenty of bleach. Even after soaking for days in straight bleach I'd NEVER wear my sister's underwear. My cousin reminded me that I didn't segregate their diapers. They share all their other clothes for the moment. Can they share underwear? Is that hygienic?? I feel like I'm over-thinking this but there is just something sacred about underwear. My solution was to just initial all the tags. I think I'm the only one who would pay attention AND the underwear are tagless! WTH?! They're also fairly unattractive, not that I'm going to a certain look for my 2 year old's panties but can I get something not so floofy? And something a little better made?? Lastly, who thinks that a six pack is reasonable? They're for little kids, where are the 20 packs??

So please, please, please, PLEASE send me your guidance!

Dogs Bark

Who knew?! In all my years of owning dogs I was never aware they barked. I was just flabbergasted when I found out!

Neighborman picked a prime time to discuss the barking of our furry, four legged friends. And by prime time, I mean 6am on a Monday morning-on his way in. Apparently our dogs bark during the day. Being upstanding, productive members of society, we aren't home to hear it. Hence my surprise to find out that they bark at all! And not only do they bark, Neighborman was kind enough to inform us that they bark when people pass or come up to the house! It's like they are protecting their territory or something! He was also quick to mention that they were interrupting his sleep and that he might be starting vocational rehab soon and he'd be needing his rest. 

Please note that he was coming in at 6 in the morning. Not coming in from work, no swing shift for him. He doesn't work. He's out on workman's comp, that is until that runs out and he finds another company to take advantage of and sue. He's done this song and dance three times since we've known him. Yeah, a total class act. If he has worked an entire year in the three or so years he's lived next door I would be surprised. 

I can say for certain that his existence disgusts me. He is worthless. Having heard him threaten and beat his ex-girlfriend, bully and belittle her child, cry to his daddy for money, put up with his music, AND hear him doing the hibbity dibbity (cause connecting walls are a two way street)- I have officially decided that...

I don't care. 

I thought I cared. Tuesday we penned the dogs in the kitchen to move them away from the front door and it's passerby's. That involved moving a gate, moving 50lbs of dog food, moving beds and toys, and cooking my beef stew on a step stool in the dining room. That friends, is way too much effort for this white girl! Not only that, they are dogs! Dogs bark. Dogs protect their territory. He knowingly purchased a house next to two dogs. 

If I get the chance and the timing is right, I would love to remind him of all these truths. I'd also like to invite him to get a job and not stay out all night. I'd tell him that parking his two POS cars far apart and in front of an elder lady's house because "she has a garage she should use" is rude. I'd also thank him for cutting my 50 year old azalea bush in half and tell him that edging with grass killer is trashy. While I was at it I'd inform him that the tattered flag in his back yard is a disgrace and the patches from the State Police where his daddy was a paper pusher are purely decorative.  Lastly I'd tell him that given the market he could always try to list his house because clearly he's not ready for homeownership.  

Sorry for the rant. I just find him totally intolerable. He has a crush on me. It's gross. I pray to the foreclosure gods every night. I'd rather live next to a rotting house.

So how do you get along with your neighbors? Would you consider moving because of your neighbors specifically?

Our street is mostly old people and a few families. Jerkhole next door is the only single person on the street and we share the only duplex. Just.My.Luck. I would honestly love to move in general, but especially because of him. 

On the upside, Neighborman has provided a nice distraction for craziness of the impending holidays and the unfolding horror stories in the news. Maybe he does have an upside!

Thank You Chick-Fil-A

Your service knows no bounds!

Our normal routine of not wanting to cook dinner landed us a chick-fil-a this evening. My final total to feed a family of four, $13. As I ordered my 6 piece meal for the girls the lady behind the counter informed me 4 piece meals were free tonight. SCORE!

So I ordered food for myself, husband, and a 4 pack for the girls to share with an extra milk and fruit cup. This genius woman behind the counter changed my order so I got two kids meals and no extra charges for milk and fruit! Then she called over Emmitt! Emmitt took one look at us and told us to have a seat, he'd bring everything over. And he did, with his Chick-fil-A hospitality! I love it. L-O-V-E I-T! He even insisted on getting our condiments. This is what the world needs more of!

What a pleasant surprise, and a pleasant meal. Then the girls worked out the last of their energy in the play place and I didn't geek out! I just read an article about a crazy microbiologist mom who surveyed kid's fast food playplaces for germs and they were the cleanest! GREAT!

Then the other shoe drops.

Sure we had a nice meal out, with outstanding service, and a safe play place. However I received a FB message as a result of my check-in. It simply said, "You know Chick-fil-A is homophobic right?" No, no I didn't. I do know they have awesome iced tea. I do know they are a Christian Organization. I don't keep up with their political followings, sorry.

All night that was on my mind. I'm fully in support of equality, the current topic of equality in marriage is something I support. If everyone can't get married, then maybe marriage shouldn't be recognized by the government. It's the whole separation of church and state, or lack their of, that eats at me but this is not the proper form. My dilemma is I like Chick-fil-A, Chick-fil-A supports an organization that opposes gay marriage. However this organization is religiously oriented and I am not. I'm sure this organization supports a lot of other things both good and bad, but how does that reflect on my chicken sandwich?

Am I really supporting homophobia when I buy my sammich? Was this just a bad business decision spun by the media? I'm a fan of independent business, but I still shop at Hellmart because I like cheap paper towels! So can I support marriage equality and still enjoy my sweet tea?

Do anyone else think about these things when making your purchases?

Homemade Gifts

How do you feel about homemade gifts?

Better yet? Is this something you would buy and give?

Maybe personalized with a name down the side? Some more/different animals? It was to be more elaborate but this is as good as it gets at 2 a.m.! This is what I made for HAM in addition to the swing I bought for her birthday. Initially I wanted to involve the girls in making something but in typical Mandy fashion, my procrastination won out and real life reared it's ugly head.

I like to make stuff, I'd love to sell my crap. The thing is I'm not confident in my crap. So I force it on my kids. But wouldn't it be great if I made fantastic crap that people actually wanted to buy? I could open an etsy store ala freckletree. But I don't have the devotion she has. I don't have the time or dedication. But would I if I did it instead of working? What if I didn't work?

Ugh, being a grown up is not as fun as it looked...

But back to birthdays, are homemade gifts acceptable? I don't mind throwing one in if I've purchased a real gift. It's the thought that counts right? Could I employ this and never have to buy gifts again??? And if twins are invited somewhere, do they each bring their own gift or do a joint one? Is there a proper protocol or is it based on home much you like the person?

Real life, soo tricky! I am planning on making the girls each a growth chart as well. I'm mentally drafting a design that works in their room. So excited. Of course I'll have to add the back dated heights from the Dr's office but I can live with that! This whole idea came about when I remember an ex boyfriend who's closet door had his heights marked off. I was a bit jealous my mother never went to such lengths. It was only a marker on a door, but to see was very sentimental. The neat hand writing at the very bottom disappeared and was replaced by kid writing. How cute would that be to see in my own house?! I'm excited and I love that it's canvas so I can just take it with me when we move!

So how about it? Any orders?? Do you make gifts?

Since The World Is Ending...

I figured I could burn your eyes out one last time!

Side note: I seriously wonder what those people are going to do Sunday morning. Their own Bible says it can't be predicted, so why are they listening to some wack-a-doo?

Guess what I picked up for the rapture??

Yes I totally did just put a picture of my nakedness (as naked as I get to the innanets!) up for the world to see. I figured since the world is ending and all that no one would really mind.

Thoughts? Opinions? Everyone IRL is being far too nice. I could use some honesty.

My thoughts? I'm glad you asked.

I hate my boobs. I think they hate each other cause they are always trying to make a break from each other.

My cavernous belly button is off center and magically two inches higher post babies.

Stomach. Stupid, flabby, unconnected, fat-laden, jiggly stomach.

Seriously, lets start a petition. Can tummy tucks be mandatory after c-sections? Or how about a door prize for housing more than one baby? That is what I call health care reform! $20k in hospital bills and I came out looking like that, worse actually! At least I have insurance to cover that... and a decent swimsuit cover-up!

So really, I'm looking for brutal honesty here. Maybe even a sympathy photo post!

Can I really go out in public, toting two children, looking like this?!

I don't need to be a MILF, although I wouldn't mind. I just don't want people to point, avert their eyes, or lose their lunch.

***PS - I couldn't stuck it in any harder if my life had depended on it for that photo!***

Ever Want Something?

I mean really, really want something? Like a small child in a checkout line with a candy, absolutely have to have, NEED IT NOW, want something? I do. I really do. I need it now. I'm pretty sure I can't live without it.

But there is always a hold up. Right now it is guilt. I don't really need said object. Said object will cost a few hundred of hubby's hard earned dollars. This is my dilemma. I don't really work, at least not enough to justify a luxurious purchase. It would be replacing something I already have, something that works just fine. Since I don't contribute much financially I now always double and triple think my purchases. It doesn't help that DH reminds me how much I like to spend money.

I can justify it by saying I'm awesome, and well that's pretty much a god-given truth. Right?! But it still feels weird, feels awkward. It feels wrong. I have trouble buying myself new clothes, so something so extreme and it not being a necessity is a really difficult decision.

So to all the mama who aren't pulling a 9-5...

How do you handle big, selfish purchases?

Learning to Follow Through

This has always been a downfall of mine. I never follow through. There is always one thing left on my to-do list at the end of the day, I leave projects "done-enough" and general I tend to half-ass things. Today I'm not following through with this week's project because of exhibits A & B.

Exhibit A: The Sick Baby

Hot and Pukey in Bawlmer (which you totally won't get unless you live here)!

Exhibit B: The Ene.rgizer Bunny

Who continually demands we read Pony Brushes His Teeth! Enough already, we got, he brushed his damn teeth!

See, that's an excuse and I like to make lots of those! It used to be I worked 50 hours a week and went to school full time. Then it was the whole I'm too depressed doing IVF. That changed to the whole I'm pregnant and stuck in bed fiasco. Now I like to use the babies and hubs as my excuse, cause they take up all my time playing farm and leaving messes. Do you make excuses too? Please tell me I'm not alone...

What bothers me most is when I do start to accomplish things DH tell's me I've done too much! WHAT?! I'm just getting started! Being a parent and a homeowner are two never ending jobs. So how do you balance? (This is where Marcia chimes in... :)) I think I've found a plan.

I've started setting weekly goals on top of my maid/chef/vet/child-rearing expert duties. I set my time limit for one week, so that hopefully it will get done in two! This week's goals were to patch and paint the walls. It's now friday and I am proud to say I've patched! Of course I now need to clean from all the dust, and as I clean I have to tend to the children, and make lunch, and let the dogs out, and tend to the children playing with the dogs, and so on and so forth. I would like to say F*CK YOU house for being old and having plaster walls that I am too cheap and lazy to rip out and actually replace! (and yes I do my own household repair because I am that cheap and lazy) I think part of my problem maybe that I am too much of a perfectionist. I couldn't just spackle the walls, I had to make sure they were perfectly sanded, smooth, and ready for paint lest someone notices that behind my couch the wall was repaired!

I know some of you stay home, others have people that come in, and still others of you attempt to actually work (CRAZY! I think I'd explode!) real jobs with other adults in places full of professionalism and structure and corporate policy!Scary stuff...

So how do you find balance and what are you standards? I just need to know I'm not crazy...yet.

Resolution Wisdom

I'm anti-resolution. In my life, because I'm a total slacker of my lack of motivation, it always leads to disappointment. Always.

This year, I'm making one! Go ME!

2011 Resolution: Have wisdom teeth removed!!!

Why hasn't this been done sometime in the last ten years it's been recommended? See top!

Seriously, this is re-damn-diculous! I am a grown woman. I willingly went through four years of braces, medical procedures, testing, freakin' IVF, twin pregnancy, and one hell of a delivery! I was eager and giddy about a lot of that too! Calling an oral surgeon, that ranks after DEATH! Many people have fears of the dentist, of impending pain, all that other crap. I am fine with the pain aspect, I think I will have to talk myself into getting out of the car and walking in when it comes time. What am I most concerned about? Not eating! For reals people!! How am I going to survive? Am I suppose to pop pain pills (which never do anything anyhow-can I get a spinal for my head??) on an empty stomach? And the possibility of stitches in my mouth gives me the heebeegeebees! This whole situation is ridiculous and I am just letting it deteriorate.

I have all four wisdom teeth broken through, three with no problem. Then there is this one ass in the back. When everyone else went straight he tried to take a short cut and ran into the rest of my teeth! Way to go asshat! Yes the tooth is a boy, who else would impact themselves and keep pushing trying to find their way?? This has been on going for years now. Every 9 months give or take not that I keep track or anything this jerk likes to try and make a break for the surface and with all his might pushes thousands of dollars of orthodontic work out of his way! Guess what happened tonight?? Jerkface came around again. Of course it was 6 hours of pain and it's settling now so I won't call the surgeon just yet, but this year I will, I have to!

So now everyone can regale me with their wisdom teeth stories! Have at it!! I can't wait to read them!

I'm sure everyone else was 18 and their mom held their hand and made them soup after. I'm so no looking forward to this...

Thursdeee

Hooray for colds!

No, not really. But I am a little excited that they seem to be moving quickly through our house. Since my nose is rebelling, I decided to start some Christmas jolly fat man day shopping. I'm a little excited to get it out of the way, but can't decide what to get for anyone.

I'm happy that DH has no choice in the matter agrees with me that we don't want to spoil the children. I definitely don't want children who expect mountains of gifts or who are overwhelmed by all the things they receive? What fun is it to open one awesome toy only to be told to put it to the side and open the other 40! I think we have decided, and by thing I mean I have decided and hope DH plays along, that we are going to get the girls a gift or two each and possibly one big gift together. I really think this is hard for DH because he comes from a family where Christmas was always a BIG DEAL and there were mounds of presents for everyone and GIANT stockings that over flowed. My first Christmas with his family, having only met his parents a handful of times, I too was the recipient of my very own pile and three foot stocking.

While that works for some families, I don't want and absolutely refuse to have a houseful of toys! If they outgrown/don't use/don't like something now, anything at all, I box it and send it down the line. My house is too small and I won't be parent with cluttered rooms in the back of my FB pictures! Speaking of which, do you ever look at the backgrounds of people's pictures? I do all the time and can't imagine why people would dare post such things! When your dirty laundry pile is taller than the child, pan away! I only mention this because I have a friend with two little girls and she is always complaining about having too many toys and dirty house. ALL of the pictures of the girls in their playroom disgust me! Who needs that many toys!? When you can no longer walk in the room, there is a problem! Call a professional, call me, call 911!

Back to program...

What one big "together" present do you get 16 month olds? I was thinking the play kitchen. I wanted to Ana.White a play kitchen for Easter though and the more I think of a kitchen the more I am worried about genderizing my kids and all the crap. Just because Mommy stays at home and loves to cook and clean doesn't mean that's a 'girl' job. Go be an astronaut, please, and buy me a nice condo by the beach!! I think WAAAAY to much about these things, which is definitely a result of staying home and have free time.

So what are your wee-ones getting this year? More importantly, do you buy into the whole Santa-be-on-your-best-behavior game?

Farewell Bottles

Emma was tooling around with the idea of using a sippy, Claire was flat against it, and last night I put my foot down! So today was our first full day with sippies, and it was great! I am so excited. There is something not disgusting about throwing a sippy in the fridge and retrieving it later. Claire did fuss and moan a bit yesterday but today was smooth sailing.

So when do I let them drink like us? As of now they still have sippy time like they had bottle feedings. They don't get sippies with meals because I actually want them to eat and not use the sippy to smash their meal. Which btw, they are GREAT at! I actually feel a little proud, and not the sad my-babies-are-growing-up feeling. Guess who is feeling that?? DH! Ha! I didn't think he would care too much, I was wrong. He was hoping for a more gradual transition, but I followed the advice of many and went the boot-camp route. Think he'll cry when we potty train and he doesn't have to wash diapers anymore??

Time to pack up the bottles and give myself some more counter space! I also finally moved my pump today, which was more upsetting than the bottles. I haven't pumped in a month! I'm not sure why I am so attached to that horrible little machine. I'm just trying to focus on the happiness that sippies have brought into my life. My goal was to have them on sippies before we started watching Ham and we made it just in the nick of time. Two more weeks and life will be much more interesting to say the least.

In other news, we had some fun family pool time today. I let my child fall face first into the pool without any sort of floatation device because I was trying to take a picture. [Both child and camera survived unscathed] I've misplaced the dog's nail clippers and we now have BIG GIRL CAR SEATS! I was super excited when the other arrived today. Yes, super cheap free shipping means you have to sign for one but not the other, so Saturday the fe.dex man left one on the porch and stuck a notice to my door. Really? They are exactly the same! Tard. I was so excited and wanted to clean the car of all it's milk drops and che.erios but once again it was a million degrees in Baltimore. I will have to do an exclusive post on the new carseats, I'm that excited about getting a millimeter of leg room back! Hope everyone is having a good week!

Radians?

I should be uploading pictures and finishing up my birthday post which I have yet to start (I'm a big slacker!) but instead I'll post this question:

Does anyone have a Radian? Sunshine Kids Radian 80 SL is the car seat I'm still contemplating. It's slender and slim and hopefully will allow my husband to stop using his knees to signal!

The girls had the one year check up and looked marvelous! Claire is 18lbs 8oz. and Emma is 18lbs 5oz. which gives me a few pounds to ponder car seats! My dear Subie, why must you make this such an endeavor? I still had serious shot-guilt and hated them having to get shots, and having to get shots because the government tells me to and all the crazy jazz I drag out. Earth mama doesn't like being told what to do! Earth mama don't trust big brotha! Ok, enough silliness, it's all for the best. Emma is a full inch taller than Claire which is becoming more apparent with them standing all the time. They are both on target developmentally and we received the all clear for big milk switch over! Goodbye $30 formula, hello COW! Seriously, I think it would be much cheaper to get a cow. It looks like we're going to be going through a gallon a day. Not to divert on to some rant, but this Mama would love some free government milk! $3.43 x 30 days = $102.90/month on milk alone! That is more than a third of my pre-babies shopping budget! Speaking of shopping budgets, what do you allot yourselves? They might be small and cute but WOW do they eat a lot. My Sam.s Cl.ub membership is certainly worth it now. I totally see us doing the monthly big shopping trip in the next few months. I am hopefully all this canning will help too! More canning this Sunday and I am excited. Peaches and green beans, 9 cases worth, what could be better! Oh, maybe my kids actually eating green beans without all the drama!!!!

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend!

Foods and Signs

So at 10 months, the girls are starting to chow down on table food and all before our evaluation making it that much less of a worry. The girls went from refusing all baby food and cereal to eagerly eating:

• Baked Sweet Potato
• Yogurt Melts
• Puffs
• Veggie Wheels
• Bananas
• Carrots
• Green Beans
• Baked Apples
• Watermelon

I need to add some variety to their palates. Any suggestions? We are almost into summer so I will have more choices at the store. I'm not ready to give them citrus yet and they haven't had any meat. I'm really trying to break away from the puffs and processed baby foods, but that was their gate way drug to the land of food and they are hooked. It does make me a little sick, not that I am super organic mom but I like to know what they are eating (and how to pronounce it).

They are still taking 4 bottles a day, 8 ounces in the morning and evening and two 6 ounce bottles at lunch and in the afternoon. I'm trying to get down to three bottles and really push food but they are really set in their schedules. The Dr and I didn't really discuss table foods and feeding issues as they weren't eating at all, hence their referral, so I'm not totally sure how to proceed. Of course I've have been faithfully following everything google has told me to do, cause that's how this mama rolls!

I've also been doing a lot of thinking and researching on signing. The girls should be speaking somewhat at this age and aren't but they are also at the age where they are wanting specific things and unable to communicate their needs. So I find myself the crazy mama pulling her hair out doing anything to placate the screaming child. Okay, so maybe they don't scream and put on elaborate displays but I definitely see it in our future. I believe I have convinced myself that by introducing signing it will create a dependence on signing and they will NEVER speak. If that were a guarantee to never cry I'd be game! I guess I will wait to see what these specialist have to say.

Speaking of specialist...how the hell do you get a baby to perform on command? This evaluation business is eating at me!

Crafty Babyness

I can be crafty when I need to be, or when I run out of time and gift ideas!

This weekend was my cousin's baby shower and I threw together a diaper cake! Go me! It was totally horrible for my first try. I'm big on simplicity so my cake lack a lot of the flashy, unnecessary stuff that people think babies need. Neither one of us is very "girly" either and we both ended up with girls, imagine that! I packed some things inside, forgot some things that I bought and ended up with a bag of extra diapers baby supplies because I refused to make another layer for the cake just to use everything up.

I also made brownie pops as favors, because I rock. I wish they tasted better. I had to make them a bit crunchier that I like so that the stick would hold the brownie and not poke through the top. I dipped them in colored which chocolate and rolled them in colored sugars.

So you're probably ask, why do I care about your cousin's shower? Because it's an event that reminded me of two things:

a.) the girls are turning one **gasp** in just over two and a half months **faint**

b.) I want another baby or two

Yes I know I already have two, and it was such a miracle to have received them. I just can't go an get a baby at the store although that would be so much more convenient. Another child is often referred to and joked about in our house. My father regularly asked for a set of grandsons. I don't think he knows about our IF and if he does he has no idea luck we had getting pregnant at all. I wish DH and I were more decisive people, that we could sit down and discuss this and come to some sort of agreement/understanding. I really feel like this is in some sort of limbo.

Can we afford another baby right now? Yes. Can we afford to make another baby right now? No. Could I possibly be so lucky a second time or would I be chancing fate and pissing away our money? If the power of two holds true then I'm sure all the planets could align and fairy will fall over my tummy and POOF I'll be pregnant. As much as I want this, I feel like I am being greedy. I was all but told we would never have any biological children, that the children I was carrying didn't stand a chance, and knew they could have faced major health issues with their premature birth. Do I have the strength to do that again? More importantly do I have the resilience to accept failure? This whole "deep in though" phase doesn't suit me well.

In other news, I'm still over-weight, the whole house reeks of wet basement, I'm loosely playing around with baby signs, and I think I have resolved to build a new bed frame!