Summa Time

It's summa time and I'm back from a self imposed blogging hiatus. I know you all missed me terribly! But fear not!! I am back and return a modernized woman! It was out with the old and in with the new. SHOCKER!

That being said, after the world didn't end and everyone got a glimpse of the not-so-goods I decided it was time to upgrade life. By life I mean phone. We upgraded to smart phones and I'm loving it. It was so nice to have the internet at my hands! I can check on EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME! It's like a little piece of heaven. Sure I was trying to take myself away from technology and focus on life, so this helped to ease my transition right?!

I set to, and accomplished, preparing the rest of the fam for summer.(P.S. Rebecca, Land.sEnd has amazing bathing suits!! I should have stopped there first! I just wish they had more neutral colors, I'm so picky.)New bathing suits all around! DH likes to wear bathing suits till they fall apart so I was thrilled that he let me replace his! He even went for something semi-trendy! It took forever to pick bathing suits for they girls so I ultimately ended up showing them pictures online and letting them pick! HA! So now if they look like a traveling freak show I can blame them! Mwhahaha!

I also went out to find some more summer clothes for the ladies. 6 pairs of shorts wasn't going to cut it! I decided to go out late, on a Sunday, on memorial day weekend. Stupid idea. However something drew me to k-mart of all places. $3 for kids knits, YES PLEASE! I hate shopping for play clothes. Everything I pick up I imagine with a stain on it and suddenly seems way over priced but for $3 I can handle all the stains in the world! They're only play clothes right? So I finished out their play clothes, grabbed a memory card, and left without spending $50! If I can get past the ghetto neighborhood it's in I can totally shop there!

Despite my best planning efforts, mother nature hit menopause before I could fully prepare for summer. How do I know this? See the water table?

You can only play with the water table when it is hot out. How hot does it have to be? Hot enough where I can't let the children wander too far from the door or they may melt!

You definitely know it's hot when the dog pee is baking the grass you just planted and you contemplate opening the gate to let them run free but not before you rip their collars off!! BASTARDS!!

Then there is the issue of it being 90 bajillion degrees on Memorial Day and my lazy ass was looking at the small, mosquito infest, lake growing on my pool cover. Yes cover, as in unopened pool! As in when the hell did the sun start exploding before Memorial Day? Of course it was too hot to open it! It's May, it's not suppose to be THIS HOT yet! My master plan was to wait till June since DH wouldn't be done with school till mid June. I was going to save some money on chlorine since no one swims in May and early June because it is just too cold. Right?! Right?!?!

But in a stroke of genius and after we have been out in the sun traveling between cookouts dear old Dad came to the rescue. Poppy extraordinaire wanted to buy the girls a pool for his house. You know, how they're there one day a week, for 2-3 hours. A nice big grass killer. Well my father sets his mind to something and insists that he gets it. So while we went to stop by another cookout, he went out and got a pool. He seemed quite pleased with himself. The girls were pretty excited too until the animals shot them in the face with water when we tried out the sprinkler! It was definitely a home movie moment!

They refused to actually get in, I think the water was too cold straight from the hose. They gleefully filled and empty cups into the pool, down themselves, and on the patio. They would dip their hands and toes and try to drink it. If nothing else, my freshly painted tootsies enjoyed the refreshingly cold water on a dreadfully hot day!

I hope everyone is ready for summer and had a relaxing Memorial Day. We enjoyed some family time and the heat really made me anxious for some trips to the beach this summer!

Since The World Is Ending...

I figured I could burn your eyes out one last time!

Side note: I seriously wonder what those people are going to do Sunday morning. Their own Bible says it can't be predicted, so why are they listening to some wack-a-doo?

Guess what I picked up for the rapture??

Yes I totally did just put a picture of my nakedness (as naked as I get to the innanets!) up for the world to see. I figured since the world is ending and all that no one would really mind.

Thoughts? Opinions? Everyone IRL is being far too nice. I could use some honesty.

My thoughts? I'm glad you asked.

I hate my boobs. I think they hate each other cause they are always trying to make a break from each other.

My cavernous belly button is off center and magically two inches higher post babies.

Stomach. Stupid, flabby, unconnected, fat-laden, jiggly stomach.

Seriously, lets start a petition. Can tummy tucks be mandatory after c-sections? Or how about a door prize for housing more than one baby? That is what I call health care reform! $20k in hospital bills and I came out looking like that, worse actually! At least I have insurance to cover that... and a decent swimsuit cover-up!

So really, I'm looking for brutal honesty here. Maybe even a sympathy photo post!

Can I really go out in public, toting two children, looking like this?!

I don't need to be a MILF, although I wouldn't mind. I just don't want people to point, avert their eyes, or lose their lunch.

***PS - I couldn't stuck it in any harder if my life had depended on it for that photo!***

The Future

All shiny and new, and full of financial wonder.

Yes, it's another rainy day and I'm starting to climb the walls. So I'll day dream about the future and start planning life in advance. Cause I'll totally stick to these plans in 16 years!

Yesterday a lady at work brought her daughter's prom picture. She she looked great, a bit too mature and showy for my liking, but pretty none the less. Bossman asks "How's that money look in the closet?" She bought her daughter a $350 dress for her senior prom. That's a car payment! Then there is the thought of everything else she put out for; hair, nails, shoes, purse, make-up, on and on. She argued that her daughter really liked it, she had to have it. Really?

Then it hits me- I have two! Crapola!

I'll have two girls going to prom together. It's almost unavoidable. I'm pretty sure if I homeschool them they will demand to go to the local school's prom for spite. Maybe I could lock them in the house and make them afraid of people, that seems cheaper! Seriously now folks, who pays that much for a dress? For a senior prom dress?

This mama has decided that she will not. No way, no how, go all out of her ladies' 'events'. Regardless of the begging and pleading, I don't care how good it looks or how much they just have to have it, I refuse to be that mom. I refuse to cash in my savings and the spare change jar for one night. Whether it be a dance, a prom, a party, equipment, or the latest fashions- I just can't do it!

I'm sure I'll tote out the line that I made my prom dress (blue is so not my color!) and bought used hockey sticks till I had my first job. I just decided, and without DH's input, that I will not break the bank on our girls for such frivolous occasions! I'm sure I'll encounter a lot of drama, and a few choice words, but it will make them better people right?

That being said, I feel like a loser mom already!

When is enough for your children? How are you suppose to decide?

I know I have a while before I reach lavish dresses and a need for hair and nails, but this has gotten my gears turning.

Do they have enough toys? (Absolutely I need to cut back!)

Do they have enough books? Are they diverse enough?

Is it ok that they wear stained shirts around the house?

Will people judge me because their socks are dirty?

When you spoil your kids, who are you doing it for?

New life goal: raise respectful, grateful, and learned children. Then they will be thankful for their flour sack dresses, have respect for the time it took me to make them, and be smart enough to see the financial savings in them! HA!

To Be Young Again

Not that I'm terribly old, but to be 17 and carefree with a car. That's what I need right now. I just found tickets for a band I want to see. Of course the concert near my house has a hefty price tag. I can't justify $400 for a concert that only I want to see. Especially when it's during the week. Gawd I sound old!

But then I found that they have another show in NC! Tickets there are $35 a piece, FANTASTIC! That 5 hour drive will be a pain but totally worth it. Again it's during the week, and while school is still in no less! So I'm currently trying to convince DH to be 17 with me for a night. We can still do this right? I'm not too old to drive down and back right? I'm still cool.... I'll just be cool and exhaust the next day!

What's the furtherest you're willing to travel for something? Or the craziest travel plans you've made in your adult life?

Test For Echo

Is anyone out there? Am I the only one dying during nap time without blogger? No updates to entertain me! My bank account can't handle all this shopping to kill time!!

Ever Want Something?

I mean really, really want something? Like a small child in a checkout line with a candy, absolutely have to have, NEED IT NOW, want something? I do. I really do. I need it now. I'm pretty sure I can't live without it.

But there is always a hold up. Right now it is guilt. I don't really need said object. Said object will cost a few hundred of hubby's hard earned dollars. This is my dilemma. I don't really work, at least not enough to justify a luxurious purchase. It would be replacing something I already have, something that works just fine. Since I don't contribute much financially I now always double and triple think my purchases. It doesn't help that DH reminds me how much I like to spend money.

I can justify it by saying I'm awesome, and well that's pretty much a god-given truth. Right?! But it still feels weird, feels awkward. It feels wrong. I have trouble buying myself new clothes, so something so extreme and it not being a necessity is a really difficult decision.

So to all the mama who aren't pulling a 9-5...

How do you handle big, selfish purchases?

Marcia I Did It!!

Do you like it???

I think it's time a make an effort to pretty-up the blog!

Sisters

Too effin' cute! This is now my go to picture. I just wish it wasn't taken with my phone.

Shadows

I wish I had caught the moment!

We had breakfast at the park on Mother's Day and after some play time, we strolled around holding hands with the ladies. Well as we rounded a turn the sun was on our backs casting shadows before us. No problem right? Poor Claire saw her shadow and was desperately trying not to step on it! Mwhahaha! It was hilarious! She was weaving all around trying to step aside of her own shadow.

How do you explain shadows to a 21 month old? Ultimately she was picked up and carried but I thought it was hilarious. It's amazing when they don't get things sometimes!

In other news, I put on my super mom cape last night and got to work. After we got home I mowed the lawn before dinner. After we ate I finished up and then we did the girls' night time rituals. I made sure their crib linens were changed out before bed. Once they were out for the evening I went down and laid some more flooring and started a load of diapers. When douche bad neighbor came outside I cleaned up and went in. I grabbed the dogs and took them out for a walk. When you put a little effort into life, you can get a lot of living done in 3 hours!

Hopefully these colds are on their way out. Luckily ***knocks on wood*** I haven't caught the germs that DH claims came in through the open windows. People sleep with the windows open, and if he had to sleep next to his sauna of a body he'd probably keep the windows open too! Oh to have my own bed!!

Do you like sharing your bed? Am I alone here?

I definitely flip pillows to get to the cool side and have to adjust everything just so so I can sleep! It drives DH crazy. But I've seen him nod off standing up so he has no sleep standards!

In Preparation

In preparation for Mother's Day we...

...sampled some purple ink...

... worked hard on some art for our cards...

... slept hard during nap while Mommy busted her a$$ to make some cards...

... complete with original art...

...all to brighten the Mother's Day of those near and dear to us! Hope you all have a great day!

Tag, I'm It!!

Marcia tagged me and I just have to play along...

1. Does your partner/spouse read your blog?

I unfortunately have to answer yes. Not that I mind him reading at all, he said he reads to get into my world. Apparently I'm not forth coming enough, or he doesn't engage me enough in conversation, or maybe I'm just too awesome to spew my life story over one small dinner meeting. The unfortunately comes from him taking things personally. DH is a frequent reader, almost stalker-ish. The problem comes when I talk about him. Silly me thought my blog was for me, I liken it to a personal diary. If you read something you don't like, stop reading. Again, my awesomness must be addictive because he can't stop. That's why I hide.

2. Am I being unfair to write people off who don't speak to me in my love language? Even though I have spoken to them about what it is that I need from them? Even through I make an effort to speak to them in their respective love languages?

I would say yes. I agree with the advice Marcia received, everyone has a time and place. They

wouldn't be an acquaintance or friend if they didn't serve you in some way. I think a better solution would be to find their time and place, and find someone else to deal with regularly. So long as your tank is filled by someone you should be good to go right?

3. Why do people not respond to your calls when they say they will?

I think a phone call is something that is lightly pushed aside till it's forgotten. In your mind you can make that call any time, but there is something more tangible to deal with in front of you. I'm horrible at this. I hate the phone. I'm almost positive I would text 911 before I called them. I hate talking on the phone, HATE IT! Even businesses and official calls. I loathe answering the phone at work. In fact, I'm currently chatting online with a rep at the car dealership about scheduling an oil change this weekend because I hate calling so much!

4. What is the best type of holiday for a toddler and a tween?

I have no clue! I always go to the beach, there is something for everyone. If I were in that position, I would most likely go to a beach, or something naturey. I would make sure to have split days, where the parents split the kids so that the tween can do more grown up things, and the toddlers more childish things. More importantly I would take along another adult to ensure that I also had a good time!

5. Why do some people put empty milk cartons and stuff bank into the fridge when they are done? Why is it so difficult for some people to clean up after themselves when they peel potatoes or whatever?

Laziness. There is no other excuse. Although I am totally guilt of this if it is something that will stink. We had a fresh roast that was bad, so we threw it in the freezer till trash day. There was no sense in letting it sit outside and stink to attract who knows what! Other than that I am a fridge nazi. I wipe the fridge out every week almost and try my best to eat up leftovers so there is little waste. I hate throwing away money!

Helper

Sightings like these warm my heart!! If only I could teach her to help lay this floor...

The Mean One

That will be my title. Mommy Meany Pants reporting for duty!

It turns out that I will be the disciplinarian. Not that that is a bad thing, I just always pictured things being more balance between DH and I. We would always agree on the punishment and whether or not a crime has been committed. We would handle the problems equally as they arose. The girls turned 18 months old and I began to realize he's a softy.

That whole bit about little girls having their dad's wrapped around their finger, that's totally happening here. He will sigh and shake his head, avert his eyes, and becomes almost tense when I put the girls in time out. THEN he comforts them when they get out! The audacity!

He thinks I'm too harsh. I believe he thinks I am too quick to use time out, use it too much, and don't use it equally between the girls. I am quick to use time out. I give warnings but at the end of the day you've had your warnings. Repeat offenses go straight to time out. So maybe it appears that I am using it too much, but I would rather them spend an hour of their day in time out trips than deal with an unruly child for the rest of my life. There is also a zero tolerance policy around these parts. You hit, you bite, you kick, or really do anything physically mean or vicious and off you go. There is no warning, you don't get a free pass to whallop your sister in the head with a sippy then get a second shot before you go to time out. I repeatedly reinforce sharing and being nice. They are actually starting to get better, and although there may be a lot of tears, they aren't bring harm to others. I can handle tears, I can't handle bruises and welts and teeth marks on the innocent!

That being said, I probably do send Claire to time out more than Emma. That doesn't mean I hate Claire. Claire has really start to test her boundaries. She likes to smile and snicker at directions and giggle like a mad woman while she runs in the other direction doing exactly as she was asked not to. This is a regular occurrence. This earns time out. Emma listens to direction for the most part. She is not one to snicker and run. Emma is also far more compliant than Claire. Claire is a bit too much like me. The looks this toddler can give will kill and I can see that in the not to distant future we will butt heads.

Just last night DH tried to lay down some law. It was near bedtime and he told Claire that if she continued to not share the book she was going straight to bed. She continued to not share, surprise surprise! So then he said that's it, Mommy take her to bed!

WHAT THE HELL?!

I did it too! What a putz! Then a minute later we went to put Emma to bed and he proceeded to make nice with Claire and play a quick finger touching game with her. FOR REALS? I get to be the bitch laying down the law, but Daddy is all fun and games! Who says kids cause marital stress?? I understand that DH and I are of different generations, backgrounds, and upbringings and that we both want to produce upstanding, useful members of society. I understand that he has limited time with them since he works. I'm home all the time, I expect to be the warden. What I didn't expect was to not have a deputy.

How do things work at your house?

I'm happy that time outs seem to be working though. When I was growing up we made friends with the front of daddy's hand, the back of daddy's hand, and daddy's belt! My father still likes to reflect, with pride, on the story of little 3 year old Mandy coming to apologize for whatever I'd done wrong and informing him that my butt was on fire. Nice. So I'd like to think I'm handling things a little better! No fire extinguishers need!

Visitor

We had a visitor today!

Yes that was the highlight of my day! Well, other than watch HAM face plant in lava rocks. Did I mention I'm an awesome babysitter?? I felt so bad, but what else can you do when you can't keep up with your feet? Poor baby. She looks like her head was hung of the back of a bike to beat against the spokes.

So Auntie Pat came to visit. Well she is only my Auntie, the ladies great aunt, and HAM's Nana. That's a lot of hats for one lady. She came to visit us between appointments and we had a good time chatting. It's nice to have another gossip gangster in the family! I think during her hour visit we covered all the immediate crazies in the family. We also have standing plans to make jam and I am super excited. Jam doesn't last long and we've been out FOR-EV-ER!

DH is now on his way home. I need to start waking little people and preparing the sippies and bottle. Hopefully the girls go down a little early tonight so I can start working in the basement. I'm laying laminate and my goal for the next two weeks is to get it finish so I can start my next project! Housework shouldn't bring a person this much joy...

Breaking News!

OMG Bin Laden's dead!

Ok, now how about the local news?

Not that I'm a conspiracy theorist, but how do they know and prove it is him. And more, what does it matter? It's 11:08 and I should be in bed, but I can't help but wonder why this matters. Does this magically end terrorism? Are the troops being recalled? Is there suddenly peace in the Middle East(which isn't very middle at all)?

Last time I checked, and I don't check very often, we were fighting terrorism and rebuilding and all that lip service. I liken fighting terrorism to the Nazi classification of Jews. How can you fight what you can see? But now that the big kamayamaya has been taken out, life will return to normal right? Do we know what normal is?

Why is everything so sensational? You killed the poster-boy, but he still has followers. A guy on the news just said "This ends a critical chapter." How so? It's like hunting Mengele or finding witches. Am I missing something critical here? I feel like this is going to be some sort of media hype-up. Soon there will be retaliatory measures and this cat and mouse game can continue.

So congrats America on your, err... victory?

Now again I ask, where is the local news?