Sunday Sense

Who's playing along with Rebecca this week? ME!!

Sight: DH reading a book with Em and placating her exploring hands with his phone. When all else fails, the phone! Sippy cups and building blocks on the dining room table. A pretty dead poinsettia from Christmas.

Sound: Claire grunting up a storm trying to poop. Poop shouldn't be this hard. Pooping shouldn't be this hard. Maybe she's doing it wrong. NPR is on in the background, one day I'll listen close enough to play along with Will Short.z. Dog nails *tap tap tap tap tap* on the floor-why don't they declaw dogs again?

Touch: Snuggly warm baby in footy pajamas! THE BEST! Of course she want's to get down now. It's cold kid, BGE isn't cheap in this old house so snuggle with me!

Smell: The aroma of sausage from breakfast. Deeeeeelicious! DH is the best! The smell of cheap sanitizer(the blue one from hell-mart), it reminds me of old men.

Taste: The leavings of sausage and milk from breakfast.

Perhaps it's time to get going for the day. Apparently staying in your pajamas on a cold winter day is limited to those two and under... does it count if there is a two in my age? Off to be a responsible, involved parent and make something of this cold, Sunday morning. According to the weather it's currently 21 degrees (-6 C)at the moment and it seems a bit to cold to go pick paint. Hope your Sunday is warmer and more productive than ours!

Snow Day

Who pissed off Mother Nature? Although I do love the snow, I loathe working in it. For some clarification, I loathe people who:

• think they'll die without milk, eggs, and toilet paper
• go to the gym during a serious snow fall
• tell you how horrible the roads are, while they're out shopping (stay home ass!)
• don't close their businesses and put sales above employee safety
• drive NSA cars (Non-Snow Appropriate) and cause accidents, yeah you Corvette! Did you enjoy eating that truck's ass end??
• drive around the block on mini 4-wheelers and ATV, especially with small children and no protective gear!
• pull out their snow blowers at obnoxious hours
• don't bother to clear their walks at all
• throw all their snow into freshly plowed streets, your grass isn't going to suffer with a little more snow on top of it!!!

Seriously people? Where do you store these fun little death machines? This isn't the rolling country side, there are no wooded areas around here. Are you having fun riding around the block over and over and OVER again? I'm definitely sick of hearing you and I am almost positive that they are illegal to have on the road and possibly in the county. To the guy who tried to pass the street legal truck and almost hit me head on, I'm sorry I missed you ASSHAT! Again today, we almost hit people on tiny 4-wheelers. They came flying up a one-way (the wrong way of course) as we were turning. It was an adult just barely and a child probably 7-9ish. Yay for responsibility!!! Yeah I would have felt like a million bucks killing your kid on a snow day but you Sir, there would have been no remorse.

Funny story, after making sure everyone at work got home safely because I'm a bit mother hen-ish and I LOVE to cruise around in the snow, I started making my way home and almost hit my first 4-wheeler. Jerk. Then I see these two tiny headlights very low to the ground. It was a mini.cooper. FORREALS?! You're trying to drive that in a foot of snow on unplowed roads. It was hilarious. Then I see it stop, back up, and go around. It was acting as a plow pushing snow forward and when it got too high and the car could no longer go forward, the driver would back off and go around leaving these walls of snow all the down the road! They were about 3 ft high and probably very dangerous to the other tards out there. I however will raise myself up over all tards to say that I drive safely in the snow with my AWD Subie! Love it! Baltimore was a mess to say the least and I was glad to finally make it home as the snow was finally stopping, not hitting any traffic what-so-ever while helping everyone home.

All and all I think we received a hair under a foot of snow. Good snow! Snow ball worthy snow. We had a small snow ball fight in the parking lot while cleaning off everyone's car and getting them out. That was my good deed for the year! DH has a snow day yesterday and today so we had some family time. While the house is a mess and we're starting to crawl the walls, but it's always nice to have a snow day!

This was the first real snow the girls got to experience. Last year they were too small and the other small snows we've had I haven't bothered to take them out in. Of course we don't have snow suits but I'm eyeing some for next year thanks to Rebecca! So we improvised with pajamas over pants, luckily they weren't really interested in playing with or in the snow as they were with running up and down the side walk.

Claire is always so serious

The kept watch DH shovel. It was like they were supervising. I can't imagine where they get that quality from!!

Emma LOVED running up and down the side walk and up to the neighbors' porches.

On my winter clearance shopping list is a sled or two and a bundle of gloves, hats, and scarves! I can't wait till they are a little older and I can stay out and play all day with them. Snow ball fights, snow men, tunnels, and forts. Oh goodness, what if they don't like snow?! Who will play with me? Hope the weather is wonderful where ever you are!

Bread

As requested, here is my bread. I try to make bread every week. At the top of my birthday list, the real one not the sprinkled with fairy dust that I keep safely tucked in my bottom dresser drawer, is a decent bread pan. I have a bread maker but I mostly use it for mixing, kneading, and rising. It makes my bread a little too crusty sometimes.

Just a picture of my bread would be totally boring. Who cares about homemade honey-wheat bread? Think the bread from out.back but on steroids and extra flavorful! The aroma hangs in the house and I drool waiting for dinner! I can taste this bread with every breath I take. I'm sure I was getting fatter just breathing.

Then it happened.

I took the girls upstairs to change diapers. Stupid, stupid, stupid! They should have marinated till their father got home but I was all 'Let's be a responsible parent'-LAME! Responsible parent didn't shut the kitchen gate. Responsible parent left the the bread out to cool and spread it's delicious aroma throughout the house. Responsible parent came back down to find herself breadless.

My heart stopped. I even checked in the microwave and fridge thinking maybe I put them up... No, the jerk-faced dog ate it! BASTARD! Just then DH came in to see my fuming. I fumed for about an hour, I'm still pissed off. He ate two huge loafs of bread! AND, yes there's an AND, he ate the butter I set out to soften. What a jerk! Man's best friend my ass! He's about to my man's homeless friend!! What's worse is that bread has to come out. So not only have I lost my bread, I've gained 20lbs. of shit! What a dick!!

Less learned - trust no one with your hard work.

Lunch

So much for blogging over lunch!
Thank you for noticing, we are still in our pj's! Today is an experiment with NO MORNING NAP. I may die. Really. Where does this energy come from and why can't they harness it to do their own laundry???

Sunday Senses

I'm linking up with Rebecca over at Unexplained X2 for Sunday Senses! Not because I'm too lazy to write a real post, because I'm just that cool!

• Sound: The silence of nap time *ahhhh* and running water from DH's shower.
• Sight: The cat licking his ass. Why must they do that? Oh, I also just saw my leg reach over and nudge the cat-he's still licking-jerk. Naked husband fumbling for clothes.
• Smell: The stale bedroom air, I really hate not opening the windows. I wish spring would come.
• Taste: Chocolate milk, my favorite. Yes I am 5!
• Feel: The warmth of my covers. I'm nestled in bed till it's my turn to shower, hoping my knee will either feel better or totally break. This in-between business is annoying!

Time to get myself into gear. We have to take a mustache picture at work today for bossman's cake and I need to look my best!

Spoons Day 1

Disregard my voice totally.

Health Care Over-Haul

Ever wonder what's wrong with health care? How about the fact that someone is paid $32 to draw up and give each shot! That's $128 for our visit! It was only a shot visit too! We were in and out in under ten minutes and never saw the Dr!

I'm all to familiar with how to draw up and stab people, LET ME DO IT! How about I get a discount on my deductible too for stabbing my own kids! I'm saving everyone time and money with D.I.Y. immunizations!

Thursday Morning

It's 8:24 a.m. and I've accomplished...

• 2 loads of laundry
• Swept and mopped the floors
• Loaded the dishwasher
• SHOWERED!
• Fed the damn dogs
• Cleaned behind the sideboard (how do toys collect under here?)
• Cleaned out the fishless fish tank-yep Jan finally died :(
• Gone through the monthly finances
• Figured out what to get DH for his birthday Saturday (during tomorrow's "snow event"-great!)

...absolutely nothing because I'm still laying in bed! Mwhahahaha! Take that schedule! I will probably eat my words but the girls have been sleeping in and all hell hasn't broken loose yet! I'm going to blame this wonderful occurrence on the disappearing afternoon nap. I thought kids dropped the morning naps but not mine. Whatevs!

It's now 8:27 and I'm starting to feel like a total lazy ass... perhaps I should at least get up and think about making breakfast and all the other 'Good Mother' things I'm suppose to do! Oh but it is blissful to just lay here in the silence. **Cue dog nails on the hardwood** Sigh, damn dogs.

Two Against One

We are back to our normal routine again! Hooray-I think?

DH was home all weekend, then Monday he was off for MLK, and Tuesday was a snow day. *Twitch, Twitch* He was home, in the house, with us, for 4 days straight! I love him, I really, really, really do! But this girl definitely has her own rhythm that he just can't march to! So what does that mean? That means I do AB-SO-LUTE-LY NOTHING! I love sleeping in while he gets up and makes the girls breakfast. Love, love, LOVE IT! He loves to make the family breakfast and I can see his temple pulse when I say I'm not hungry.

It's horrible, but it's wonderful! I just can't get into my groove without being inundated with questions, he is so annoying! Why did it take me all these years to notice? I also talk to myself, because I'm home alone all day so if I talk aloud maybe some intelligent conversation will come out of the ether, or from the dogs. However DH likes to think that I am talking to him, because who else would I be talking to during nap time, and since he isn't paying attention he asks me to repeat everything! So that leaves me feeling like a total ass for speaking out loud when he is home. All in all, it's best we limit our at-home time together. I may bludgeon him to death with a spoon! Him being home has thrown the earth off it's axis, you can thank him for the re-introduction of Ophiuchus if you follow all that craziness.

So today DH finally went back to work! Almost better than the big O! I did my morning routine with the girls, we cleaned and played, and all is right with the world again! However I'm still lazy, and I'm not entirely sure the floors will be mopped or my pile of crap will be relocated to my desk. I do miss him though, but on the bright side the girls did sleep longer since the house was quiet. There is always tomorrow though, when the Warden (as DH calls me-thanks asshat) will be running the show again!

Oh, and dear Mother Nature, think long and hard about this snow business you're planning for Friday!

My Reply

Marcia over at 1,2,3 blog blogged about grocery shopping and tackling household projects and I just had to respond with my own blog. How could I ever get it all in a tiny comment!

For the grocery shopping, I used to take the girls all the time! The whole lets-be-eco-friendly-and-drive-myself-crazy-having-one-car has left me to grocery shop in the evenings so I often get a few child free moments after work to grab the goods. Everyone still gawks at my 4 gallons of milk and asks if we really drink a gallon a day. No I like to pour $4 down the drain everyday! As non-sitters I b.jorned one and left the other in their carrier in the cart. As sitters and walkers we now use the dreaded car cart. At our grocery store the car carts are HUGE but the basket for the actual food is tiny. Hey Car-Cart-Designer-Folks, if I need child storage in my cart I probably need a shit load to stash the mounds of food I will be feeding to said children! Whoever designed the Tarjay carts seat carts, I hate you! They look so uncomfortable and they are impossibly huge. So that being said, we rely on Bertha the big red stroller when are out by ourselves. When DH is in tow, it's one kid in one cart with one parent. Then we play bumper carts throughout the store and people remark on how adorable our children are and ask "Are they twins?". Sigh. Overall my only true complaint about shopping is loading the car afterward. No matter where we've been there is undoubtedly a cartful of stuff and two babies to get into the car with some asshat who has parked entirely too close to my car. It is then that I am most jealous of the soccer moms with their minivans with the sliding doors and tons of floor space. I wouldn't have to toss children into seats or squeeze Bertha into the back along with my purchases without squashing the bread. But alas, I refuse to become a soccer mom just yet.

The home front is another story. For the regular clean up I have my daily routines, my weekly routines and then my projects which I have recently given myself a week each, with a week grace period. Living in an old house, there is always something that needs tending too. Currently I'm working on patching and painting the plaster walls. This spring I'm eager to build a new bed frame for us and put up a new shed.

I have come to the realization that most people are unlike me in that they hire out a lot of their work. I wish I weren't so cheap! The idea of paying someone to do something I am perfectly capable of doing really bothers me. I'm certainly not doing major home upgrades but I do take pride in making and fixing things myself. This past week I made a new cover for my el-cheapo I.kea chair that I still love! It's just the right height for my short statured self!

Totally not ironed, but repurposed from an old duvet!

I think that ultimately I pick projects to accomplish by order of annoyance and cost. Then I factor in the probability of said project being finished while in the company of two screaming toddler *gasp* and drowned my sorrows in a glass of chocolate milk. I often wonder what I would do with myself if I lived in one of the new, cookie cutter housing developments that populate suburbia. They make me dizzy, and I loathe them, but I always wonder what I would do if I didn't have to constantly patch cracking plaster or worry over old, drafty windows! I think I'd write a book, and look like all the pretty suburbia soccer moms!

!!!Confession Time!!!

My living room has NO furniture! None. Well that's a lie. There is a book case, and a chair, an end table and coffee table. There is a lamp, nice, heavy grommeted drapes, and tons of family pictures! Notice what's missing??? A FREAKIN SOFA!!! So that is definitely on my to-do list! I should mention that there was once a sofa and a certain dog decided to EAT said sofa. I decided to kill him but thought better of it after the Michael Vic.k drama. Luckily we have a finished basement with a family room where our TV lives so the living room is more for show. I hate having people over, no one has to see my embarrassment, other than my mother who always comments I need to buy another couch. This is really at the top of my home wish list, but couch shopping is HARD WORK and I am terrified to drop a few hundred on an oversized chew toy! He no longer chews-I think-and I'm fairly certain it was a 'puppy thing' so I am hopeful. Feel free to leave your own personal horror stories, links to sales, or pet training tips!

Learning to Follow Through

This has always been a downfall of mine. I never follow through. There is always one thing left on my to-do list at the end of the day, I leave projects "done-enough" and general I tend to half-ass things. Today I'm not following through with this week's project because of exhibits A & B.

Exhibit A: The Sick Baby

Hot and Pukey in Bawlmer (which you totally won't get unless you live here)!

Exhibit B: The Ene.rgizer Bunny

Who continually demands we read Pony Brushes His Teeth! Enough already, we got, he brushed his damn teeth!

See, that's an excuse and I like to make lots of those! It used to be I worked 50 hours a week and went to school full time. Then it was the whole I'm too depressed doing IVF. That changed to the whole I'm pregnant and stuck in bed fiasco. Now I like to use the babies and hubs as my excuse, cause they take up all my time playing farm and leaving messes. Do you make excuses too? Please tell me I'm not alone...

What bothers me most is when I do start to accomplish things DH tell's me I've done too much! WHAT?! I'm just getting started! Being a parent and a homeowner are two never ending jobs. So how do you balance? (This is where Marcia chimes in... :)) I think I've found a plan.

I've started setting weekly goals on top of my maid/chef/vet/child-rearing expert duties. I set my time limit for one week, so that hopefully it will get done in two! This week's goals were to patch and paint the walls. It's now friday and I am proud to say I've patched! Of course I now need to clean from all the dust, and as I clean I have to tend to the children, and make lunch, and let the dogs out, and tend to the children playing with the dogs, and so on and so forth. I would like to say F*CK YOU house for being old and having plaster walls that I am too cheap and lazy to rip out and actually replace! (and yes I do my own household repair because I am that cheap and lazy) I think part of my problem maybe that I am too much of a perfectionist. I couldn't just spackle the walls, I had to make sure they were perfectly sanded, smooth, and ready for paint lest someone notices that behind my couch the wall was repaired!

I know some of you stay home, others have people that come in, and still others of you attempt to actually work (CRAZY! I think I'd explode!) real jobs with other adults in places full of professionalism and structure and corporate policy!Scary stuff...

So how do you find balance and what are you standards? I just need to know I'm not crazy...yet.

Snow Day

Not nearly the blizzard everyone is praying for but a snow day none-the-less. DH got to go in late so he made waffles for the family. LOVE IT! Nothing like falling out of bed to a waiting breakfast!

Of course I was falling out of bed early as *SOMEONE* was stomping through the house, up and down the stairs, yelling at the dogs, and generally being faaaaaaaar to loud for the 6 o'clock hour which in turn WOKE THE BABIES UP! Do you know what that means? That means I had to get up! The audacity! Someone should tell these kids, and this husband of mine, that we sleep in on snow days!

Here is after breakfast, while I let the girls brush their teeth in my bed, so I could catch up on blogs and check my email.

Everyone smile!

Another Mother of the Year moment!!

Keep an eye out for When Screamies Attack II!!

Beef-Not For Dinner

Is this really necessary?

Naughty Bear

I am most certainly not trying to fall through the railing and tear apart the Christmas boxes while you're busting your hump to clean up Christmas Mommy! And it is Emma who is throwing toys down the stairs all by herself without any provocation from me! This Claire Bear would never do that!

Epiphany

That's it! Christmas is ovah! It's Epiphany and down with the decorations!!

This little girl is very upset about the decorations being packed up. She cried a little harder and pleaded a little stronger with every item that was put away. It's a horrible picture but you can see that she was very displeased.

And yes that is her christmas dress because I did just take their Christmas picture... Slacker Mom strikes again!

Resolution Wisdom

I'm anti-resolution. In my life, because I'm a total slacker of my lack of motivation, it always leads to disappointment. Always.

This year, I'm making one! Go ME!

2011 Resolution: Have wisdom teeth removed!!!

Why hasn't this been done sometime in the last ten years it's been recommended? See top!

Seriously, this is re-damn-diculous! I am a grown woman. I willingly went through four years of braces, medical procedures, testing, freakin' IVF, twin pregnancy, and one hell of a delivery! I was eager and giddy about a lot of that too! Calling an oral surgeon, that ranks after DEATH! Many people have fears of the dentist, of impending pain, all that other crap. I am fine with the pain aspect, I think I will have to talk myself into getting out of the car and walking in when it comes time. What am I most concerned about? Not eating! For reals people!! How am I going to survive? Am I suppose to pop pain pills (which never do anything anyhow-can I get a spinal for my head??) on an empty stomach? And the possibility of stitches in my mouth gives me the heebeegeebees! This whole situation is ridiculous and I am just letting it deteriorate.

I have all four wisdom teeth broken through, three with no problem. Then there is this one ass in the back. When everyone else went straight he tried to take a short cut and ran into the rest of my teeth! Way to go asshat! Yes the tooth is a boy, who else would impact themselves and keep pushing trying to find their way?? This has been on going for years now. Every 9 months give or take not that I keep track or anything this jerk likes to try and make a break for the surface and with all his might pushes thousands of dollars of orthodontic work out of his way! Guess what happened tonight?? Jerkface came around again. Of course it was 6 hours of pain and it's settling now so I won't call the surgeon just yet, but this year I will, I have to!

So now everyone can regale me with their wisdom teeth stories! Have at it!! I can't wait to read them!

I'm sure everyone else was 18 and their mom held their hand and made them soup after. I'm so no looking forward to this...